Things that are not boundaries: Therapist explains

Boundaries are extremely important – they help us to restrict others from doing things that are uncomfortable for us. Boundaries also help us in getting more clarity on what we want and what we don't. But boundaries also depend on perspectives. What is too rigid for us can be very primary for someone else. "When you start to learn about boundaries, it’s possible that you sway back and forth from them being too rigid or too loose. It takes time, intention, and practice to find the balance of landing in the middle. What feels like a healthy balance for you may be too rigid for some, and too loose for others. That’s okay because boundaries are all about honoring your unique needs and what feels safe for you," wrote Therapist Sadaf Siddiqi.

It is equally important to find a healthy balance while we set our boundaries. "As you do this work, it’s important to check in with yourself regularly to make sure you aren’t falling into the same patterns, impulses, or fears that prevent you from forming healthy boundaries in the first place," added the expert. Sadaf Siddiqi further explained the things that are not boundaries:

ALSO READ: Do you struggle saying no and setting boundaries? Tips to change the pattern

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Silent treatment: Creating an emotional wall or giving someone silent treatment when we are upset with them creates more confusion and emotional disconnect. It is important to understand that silent treatment is not a boundary. While we should ensure that we do not get hurt in any way, we should also allow space for expression of emotions for the other person.

Cutting someone out impulsively: We often cut out people from our lives when they start to become harmful for us, and it is completely okay. However, we should not do that as a way of punishing tgem or avoiding certain emotions. Expressing concerns and asking for change is a mature way of handling such situations.

Accepting blame for things we did not do: We should accept the things that are in our control and the things that are not. Taking responsibility for actions and mistakes made by our dear ones will not fix the problem.