Do you struggle saying no and setting boundaries? Tips to change the pattern

When we are brought up in dysfunctional homes, we do not receive the love, care and affection that we deserve as a child. This further affects the adult relationship we become a part of in the later stages of life. The need for constant affection and love often makes us become more pleasing people in nature. We keep constantly focusing on the behavior and actions of others to figure out their emotions and feelings. We also hyper focus on their perceptions of ourselves. This often makes us push our boundaries and needs far away and do everything at hand to make people like us. However, this practice can be harmful for our own mental and emotional health.

We often hesitate in saying no to things that we do not want to agree to, or be a part of, and refrain from setting boundaries for others because of the fear of being disliked. However, this behavior pattern can be changed. Relationship Coach Rebecca Ore addressed this and shared a few tips by which we can change the pattern of not setting boundaries:

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Be more aware: The point when we say yes when we actually wanted to say no, we feel some kind of emotions inside ourselves. We should try to become more aware of those emotions and understand the impact they have on us.

Learn the fears: there are some fears which accelerate our unhealthy behavior patterns of not setting boundaries. We should become aware of those fears and try to address them.

Challenge the thoughts: instead of going with the flow, we should challenge the thoughts of being a people pleaser and try to regulate our own emotions.

Practice new ways: Slowly we should introduce new patterns of thought and try to show up differently. Setting boundaries and saying no are important aspects of daily life and can harm us when not done in a correct manner.