How do healthy couples handle conflict? Therapist shares tips

Conflicts are unavoidable in a relationship. Contrary to what we believe, conflicts are in fact healthy in a relationship as they open up perspectives and help us to understand our partners better, and vice versa. It also helps us to know how to handle conflicts, prioritise the relationship and address disagreements in a healthy way. "Learning how to have conflict, how to come back together after it, and how to show mutual reassurance is a practice," wrote Psychologist Nicole LePera as she addressed how conflicts should be handled in a healthy way. "Some of us (myself included) grew up around destructive conflict filled with abrasive anger, shut down, or denial. This is why cycles repeat over and over again. With conscious commitment, we can learn conflict as an opportunity to: build trust, respect, and mutual understanding," she further added.

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Here are four ways by which healthy couples fight:

Stay focused: A conflict should not be seen as an opportunity to shame and character attack. When healthy couples find something that they are having a conflict about, they stay focused on talking only about that.

Address it: The healthy way to deal with a conflict is to address it – we can always give space to each other and then find a suitable time to address the conflict.

Respect: Healthy couples agree to disagree and do not see disagreements as a threat. Instead, they respect boundaries and differences in opinion.

Letting it go: Sometimes when conflicts do not get resolved even after addressing it, it is best to let it go and move on from it.

Nicole Leera further suggested a few steps to repair the relationship:

Addressing: The best way forward is to embrace the power of communication in relationships and address conflict.

Affirmation: It is important to give the reassurance of love and that we will figure it out, no matter what.

Validate: We should validate the emotions of the partner and try to understand their feelings.

Pre-communicate: When we sense conflict, we should pre-communicate the needs we have. Some of us may want to take a break, while some of us may want to stay in and talk about it.