ADHD and the vicious cycle of shame: Therapist explains the connection

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, also known as ADHD, is a mental condition where a person faces the issue of inattention, or hyperactivity or impulsiveness for a prolonged period of time. ADHD is one of the disorders that can show up early in childhood. It interferes with functioning and development as well. Some of the common symptoms of ADHD are difficulty in paying attention and hyperactivity. However, it can also bring a sense of shame to us. "Due to the stigma and lack of understanding of ADHD in our society, we often feel a deep sense of shame around the behaviors that are impacted by our neurodivergence. Shame blocks us from getting help, finding creative solutions and showing up authentically in our communities. One of the best things you can do for yourself as an adult with ADHD is learn how to recognize and process your feelings of shame," wrote Therapist Meredith Carder.

ALSO READ: Breaking down ADHD: 6 symptoms and their reasons

Feeling shame for not meeting expectations: When we have ADHD, it may interfere with our work quality and deadlines at a workplace. Since we have certain responsibilities and expectations on us, we may try to motivate ourselves with the shame to push through and work on the responsibilities entrusted to us. However, this can further lead to burnout and make the symptoms of ADHD worse.

Feeling shame about our financial situation: The symptoms of hyperactivity and impulsiveness may contribute to unhealthy shopping habits, which can further make our financial situations worsen. When we feel embarrassed due to our financial situation, we may try to avoid financial management as a way of escaping the feeling. This can further cause stress and a sense of overwhelm – two symptoms of ADHD.

Feeling shame and embarrassment in social groups: Interrupting and issues with punctuality are faced by people with ADHD. Hence, shame and embarrassment in social groups is common for people with ADHD, which can further make them isolate themselves, leading to loneliness, under stimulation and low mood.