Sibling roles in dysfunctional families: Therapist explains

Many of us are brought up in dysfunctional homes where the caregivers and the parents did not have much time to give us the necessary love and attention. In such families, usually siblings fill up the roles and do all the heavy lifting. Addressing this phenomenon, Therapist Emily H Sanders wrote, "It’s important to keep in mind these roles are filled in an attempt to create safety and balance. Unfortunately, these roles often cause unhealthy coping skills for the child playing the part, and keep a family stuck in their funk. Any person who comes to individual therapy so they can grow should be warned that their growth will often be met with resistance. Your personal growth throws the family balance off, and members will want you to get back into your place to restore balance."

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Emily further noted down the roles that are played by siblings in dysfunctional families:

The hero: In this role, a sibling appears to be well-rounded and over-achieving in nature. They are often burdened with the expectations of the family and are seen as the achievers. Often other children of the family are compared with this sibling.

The mascot: These siblings use humour to get over the dysfunctionalities of the family. In order to diffuse a volatile situation or to intervene in serious situations, they use humour to cheer others up.

The lost child: These siblings are often seen as the loner, they are usually seen in the background and are scared of bringing attention on themselves. Such children are also used by dysfunctional families to show as examples that they are a healthy family because their child turned out to be good.

The identified patient: This is the child of the family that has been identified as the one that needs help. They often use addiction or eating disorders to cope with dysfunctional families. Parents see this child as a project which needs help – this further helps them to stay distracted from their core issues.

The scapegoat: This is the child that usually voices their opinion regarding the dysfunctionalities of the family. They are seen as the rebel child – they face the feeling of being unlovable and rejected at all times.

The caretaker: These siblings are the ones who do anything to maintain peace at home, thereby keeping the dysfunction active in the family. They are also heavily invested in keeping the family happy and together.