Self-regulation tips for people with avoidant attachment style

When we are brought up in dysfunctional homes, we learn to live without getting attention, affection and care. Sometimes the past experiences of childhood and the trauma attached to it can haunt us and make us avoid being vulnerable to others. "The biggest myth about avoidant attachment is that they don't want connection. Underneath their tendency to prioritise personal space and avoid vulnerability is a yearning for intimacy and closeness. People with an avoidant attachment style may struggle to balance their innate need for connection with the fear of being overwhelmed or hurt. Because they have a fear of being hurt, their avoidant behaviors are a way to stay protected," wrote Therapist Israa Nasir. The expert further shared a few self-regulation tips to follow for people with avoidant attachment style.

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Awareness: being aware of the habits we have and the reasons as to why we behave in a certain way in certain situations is the first step to understanding the attachment style we have how we can self-regulate.

Small steps: gradually introducing ourselves to vulnerability and noticing the small changes and how we can trust people with our emotions can help us to know ourselves better.

Keep a note: Noting down the emotional experiences we have and the situations that we have faced will help us to react differently in future. It will also help us to identify the triggers and the trauma and help us reflect on them.

Question beliefs: The beliefs that we have about relationships, intimacy and vulnerability should be questioned by us. It will help us to get more clarity.

Communication skills: We should put conscious effort into improving our communication skills and expressing ourselves and our emotions in a better way.

Personal boundaries: Boundaries are important, and we should ensure to explain them to others and make sure that no one disrespects them.