Is it right to get a pet together as a couple? Here's everything you need to know if you ever break up
From relationship expert to vet, experts weigh in on when it’s the right time, and how a breakup can affect your furry friend emotionally.
Many couples are quick to adopt pets, seeing it as a major relationship milestone once things feel smooth sailing. It’s tempting, bringing home a four-legged baby can feel dreamy, almost like starting a little family. But is it a wise move to get a pet?
Relationships, especially in their early phases, can be unpredictable. Now, throwing a pet into the mix of breakup and heartbreak makes things even messier and more complicated. You may end up arguing over who gets to keep the pet, while your pet silently picks up on the shift in dynamics and starts to feel very distressed.
No doubt this is a tricky terrain, so we have reached out to experts on both sides to understand when it's the right time to get a pet as a couple and how to identify emotional distress in your pet when you part ways.
Couple's guide to understanding when to get pets
Pets may be all cute and adorable, but in reality, they are a big responsibility. With dog moms and cat dads proudly taking over dating profiles, it’s easy to imagine co-parenting a cute pet with your partner, cuddling together in a picture-perfect moment. In fact a pet parent may even be a criterion in dating. But it’s important not to get carried away and to ask yourself whether your relationship is truly ready for such a big change.
Dr Chandni Tugnait, Relationship Expert at Tinder in India, revealed, "It’s no surprise people are drawn to pets, and to partners who share their best traits, like unconditional love and trust. According to Tinder’s Year in Swipe Report 2024, at the heart of dating in 2025 is trustworthiness (40%), and nearly 45% of singles say they’re looking for a 'Golden Retriever type': someone loyal, friendly, full of energy, and always seeing the bright side. Similarly, the rise of the ‘Black Cat Girlfriend’ archetype reflects a growing appreciation for those who are a little more mysterious, reserved, and deeply loyal once you’ve earned their trust. It makes sense, then, that couples might feel inspired to get a pet together, since animals reflect so many of the qualities we value in love, like unconditional support, shared routines, comfort, and connection. But it’s important to remember that bringing a pet into the relationship isn’t just a cute step, it’s a real, long-term responsibility. If the relationship is unstable, pets can feel that stress too, sometimes showing signs of anxiety or withdrawal."
Chandni further shared some key talking points to discuss with your partner, which can help you figure out whether you, as a couple, are truly ready to care for a pet:
- A pet requires emotional bandwidth; if one or both partners are still figuring out personal priorities, it may not be the right time.
- Before adopting, young singles may want to try pet-sitting together or fostering temporarily to see how you handle shared responsibility. It’s a low-stakes way to test how well you manage pet care as a team.
- For couples in India, where moving in together before marriage is still not the norm for many, getting a pet can feel like a step toward a shared future. But it’s essential to approach it with intention, not just as a relationship milestone.
Chandni also shared some signs that signal you’re ready to take the leap and get a pet together.
- You’ve successfully managed shared responsibilities like financial decisions, travel planning, or living together.
- You handle conflict constructively, but if disagreements often escalate, adding a pet may increase stress.
- You’ve had explicit conversations about roles, financial commitment, and even what happens in case of a breakup.
And finally, Chandni addressed the dreaded part, what if you break up, then who gets the pet? Here's her take on how to tackle the tough situation:
- Ask who has been the primary caregiver doing: feeding, walking, vet visits, and emotional support.
- Consider who has the logistical capacity: a stable home, flexible schedule, and financial bandwidth.
- Evaluate the emotional attachment, but do so mindfully. Sometimes, the desire to keep the pet is a form of clinging to the relationship. So, do you really want the pet or just a reminder of the relationship?
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How to tell if your pet is affected by your breakup?
Pets form bonds, and if they have been around you and your partner, spending quality time together, a breakup can cause them immense stress. Not only does it temporarily disrupt their daily routine, but it can also emotionally upset them due to the change in dynamics. Maybe your pet bonded more with your partner, making the pet even more upset when they don't see your ex around anymore.
Dr Deepak Saraswat, Head Vet, Zigly, revealed the signs your pet has bonded with a specific person:
- Excited greeting ritual:
A heightened sense of excitement by your pet, such as tail wagging, jumping, vocalising or running specifically to that one person upon entering the home, is a clear indicator of preferential bonding. This enthusiastic welcome goes beyond simple acknowledgement to genuine joy at reunion.
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2. Faithful shadow
Does your pet follow just that one person from room to room, maintaining close proximity even when others are present? This ‘shadowing’ behaviour shows a deep emotional attachment and desire to maintain closeness with their preferred human companion.
3. Physical contact preferences
Bonded pets seek physical connection with their favourite person. Dogs might lean against them or place their head on their lap, while cats may choose to curl up beside, knead, or purr consistently near their chosen one.
4. Meaningful eye contact
Soft, relaxed eye contact with a specific person is particularly significant for dogs. This gazing behaviour releases bonding hormones like oxytocin in both the pet and the human, strengthening their emotional connection.
5. Play initiations and toy offerings
When a pet consistently brings toys to one member of the family or specifically seeks them out for playtime, they're showing preferential bonding and trust.
So, how do you know if your pet is troubled after the breakup, especially when they no longer see your ex? Dr. Saraswat lists some common signs of distress that pets may show when that bond is disrupted:
- Destructive behaviours
Chewing, scratching, or damaging household items, especially objects associated with the absent person, often indicates separation distress when bonds are disrupted by household changes or absences.
2. Vocalisation changes
Increased barking, howling, or whining, particularly when left alone or during the absence of their bonded person, signals emotional distress and longing.
3. Withdrawal and depression
A pet showing reduced interest in activities they previously enjoyed, sleeping more than usual, appearing lethargic, or hiding from others may be experiencing emotional distress related to separation from their bonded person.
4. Loss of appetite and stress eating
Loss of appetite or, conversely, stress eating are common signs that your pet is struggling emotionally, often due to changes in their bond with the missing household member.
5. Searching behaviours
Pets may actively search for a missing bonded person by pacing, sniffing their belongings, or waiting patiently by doors and windows, demonstrating the strength of their attachment.
Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice.
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