How to know if we are being too much needy in a relationship?
From being too demanding to expecting one person to meet all needs, here are some of the times when we can be a bit too much needy.
In relationships, when we are not able to receive the things that we are in need of, we are often termed as being needy and being too much. This happens when our needs are not met by the partner due to various reasons – either they are not capable of meeting the needs that we have, or we haven't spoken to them clearly about our needs, wants and expectations, leaving them to read our minds. It is also possible that sometimes we have unrealistic needs that cannot be met by another individual. Addressing this, therapist Maria G Sosa wrote, "True: We are not needy - we have unmet needs. Also true: Sometimes, we have unrealistic narratives and unreasonable expectations about these unmet needs."
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Maria further noted down the times when we can be a bit too much or our partners may feel that we are being needy:
Demands: When we have a lot of demands and we feel that the other person owes us to meet the needs. However, the truth is that no one owes us anything, and we should not have such unrealistic demands of our needs being met by others.
One person, all needs: It is unrealistic to expect one person to meet all the needs we have. This creates unnecessary pressure on our partners and can turn the relationship toxic.
Our role: Some of us do not understand that we are also responsible for the needs that we have. We also need to work on meeting our own needs. When we are in a relationship, the other person is not responsible for meeting all our needs.
Our own terms: In a relationship, people promise to show up and have each other's backs. However, this shouldn't be used in a way that we push them to meet the needs in our own terms and in our own deadlines. We need to find a common ground for things to work out.
Flexibility: Sometimes when we are not open to compromising and reach a solution, or we are strict in the ways we demand things to work out, our partners can feel that we are being too much for them.
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