Here’s why you need humour compatibility in your relationships

What’s life without a few laughs? Relationships would be a snoozefest if it weren’t for at least one partner’s good sense of humour. While it’s alright to occasionally not find your partner’s jokes and one-liners amusing, not being able to stand their sense of humour at all can make it hard to sustain the relationship. It can become a tricky landmine of never-ending fights. Here are a few situations:

1) He likes to be sarcastic while her puns are intended. If both the partners have a different sense of humour then they might have difficulty relating, bonding together as both the partners have trouble understanding each other; they feel that the other doesn’t get them, especially if they can’t make each other laugh. This can cause the relationship to become wry.

2) If your partner gets your joke but doesn’t appreciate it because it offends them, there’s a problem. Especially, if your jokes make your partner feel humiliated, excluded, insecure, judged or patronised!

3) If your partner uses humour to disguise criticism or pass remarks, which they may not feel comfortable expressing directly then it can lead to resentment. Negging (emotional manipulation) is an example. You might think you are being nice by jokingly passing unpleasant remarks, but you might come across as mean to your partner.

So, if you’re in any of these situations, talk it out with your partner; try to meet halfway.

Is your and your partner’s sense of humour compatible? Take this humour compatibility test to find out*:

1)You have lots of fun when you are together? 1) Yes 2) No

2) One person is always the target of jokes which might border on insults? 1) Yes 2) No

3)Are you laughing with your partner or at your partner? 1) With 2) At

4)Do you and your partner use humour to criticize each other? 1) No 2)Yes

5)You both watch the same comedy movies and TV shows? 1)Yes 2) No

6) You both laugh at the same jokes? 1) Yes 2) No

7) Are your partner’s jokes leaving you feeling humiliated? 1) Yes 2) No

8) Does your partner make fun of you in front of other people? 1) Yes 2) No

9) Does your partner use humour to bail you or themselves out of a tricky situation? 1) Yes 2) No

If you and your partner have mostly ticked 1) then you guys have a great shared sense of humour. If it is mostly 2), then you need to sit down with your partner and discuss what makes you feel uncomfortable about his or her jokes. If both of your answers differ then sit together and work on not hurting the feelings of the other.

*This test is only an indication and is not a scientific personality test.

(Inputs by Pulkit Sharma and Priyanka Varma, psychologists)