People have often asked me where this journey began. While the longing was from childhood, I was first exposed to mountaineering in 2003 at the school that Sherpa Tenzing Norgay founded -- the Himalayan Mountaineering Institute in Darjeeling. I was an undergraduate student in English Literature at Miranda House, Delhi University when a lecturer told me about this school and set in motion the path to Everest 13 years later. I signed up for their 28-day basic course - and later for their 28-day advanced course - in mountaineering, a rigorous boot camp by the Indian Army that taught me all the foundational technical skills in planning and implementing a mountaineering expedition, but more importantly, how to do what is in my power to survive. For example, how to read the signs and symptoms of high-altitude sickness (which claims the lives of many on Everest every year) and how to avoid it. What followed were many mountains and even more rock and ice climbing adventures before Everest, each with its own joys and challenges.

The two-month journey to the summit of Everest was as much a mental challenge as it was physical. High altitude, sub-zero temperatures, shifting and challenging terrain of rock, ice and snow, deep crevasses and a low oxygen death zone, the risks of unpredictable weather, and more challenges persisted. And I had to navigate all this within certain speeds and timings, to make it to the next stage safely.

The biggest lesson Mount Everest taught me is to believe in myself. I remember struggling with the minimum speeds required, feeling held back by my small size. I had to repeat one climb from Camp Two to Camp Three, because I did not make it in the required timing and a second failure would mean turning back. It was after that experience that I dug deep to find the mental strength and determination to keep on. I was certain that if I failed this first attempt to summit Everest, critics would say that I did not make it because I am a woman. As it happened, when I returned to Sri Lanka in 2016, amidst the bigger outpouring of support and joy in this achievement for which I was and still am grateful, there were also narratives of disbelief. I was asked if my climbing partner at the time - who is a man and did not make it to the summit that year – had sacrificed his oxygen cylinder for me so I could make it – which is both impossible and untrue. I was told that I must have emasculated all men in Sri Lanka with my climb.

It was in preparation for this journey to the tallest mountain in the world that I realised how male-dominated mountaineering is. When temperatures fall to -60 degrees Celsius close to the summit, the right mountaineering gear is everything. Two of the most critical pieces of gear required for any journey to the summit of Everest include the 8,000 metre high altitude down suit and the 8,000 metre triple mountaineering boots. In 2016, neither of these were available in women’s sizes, even in the global market. One globally recognised brand had a men’s XS (Extra Small) suit – however, this too was far too big for me given that I wear a women’s XS. The boots were also simply not manufactured for women’s sizes, and this meant that I climbed Everest in boots that were two sizes too big for me. The lack of well-fitted gear is a specific challenge that women mountaineers face, especially Asian women and even men, who are often relatively smaller built than their Western counterparts. It is only very recently that leading sports brands world over have begun to manufacture specific suits and sizes for women. And during a recent visit to Nepal, I was glad to discover that there are a few Nepali brands which are designing mountaineering gear for Asian sizes, including 8,000 metre suits, further levelling the playing field in mountaineering.

Becoming the first Sri Lankan person to summit Everest threw open doors not only for me, but also for hundreds of women and girls in Sri Lanka, many of whom have since told me what it meant to see something considered unimaginable, become possible. Sri Lanka is only the fourth country in the world where a woman has reached the summit of Mount Everest before a man. Being a woman and the first one to scale Everest has provided a basis on which to challenge gender stereotypes: for girls to ask for support from family and community to pursue dreams outside of the confines of traditional gendered roles, if they choose to. Even though I'm not a hugely public person, I have now continued to use the public platform that I received after Everest to talk about the importance of challenging gender norms, that prevent us from doing so much.

I don’t like to say I conquered Everest, or any mountain for that matter. I don’t like the patriarchal and colonial language that implies subjugation. But rather I believe that we conquer ourselves to reach heights often believed to be impossible. And maybe, the mountains choose us too.

Jayanthi Kuru-Utumpala is the first Sri Lankan to summit Mount Everest. In 2016, she attempted the summit along with her climbing partner, Johann Peiris, and successfully reached the summit in her first attempt. Jayanthi is an advocate for gender equality with 20 years of experience and a rock climber / mountaineer for nearly as long. As an independent consultant, she is the Co-creator of ‘Delete Nothing’ a web-based platform addressing online gender-based violence in Sri Lanka.