It might be easy for us living in India to conclude that our context is different from the gritty streets of northern England. But Megha Sekhsaria-Mawandia, who is a family therapist based in Mumbai, disagrees. “The show captures the subtle but powerful influences shaping teenagers today — the coded language, the quiet shifts in identity, and the pressures they navigate in a world that often feels hidden from parents.”

Especially the last episode of the series which shows the impact of the crime on Jamie’s family. As a parent of two teen boys, I felt the final episode in particular highlighted that adolescence is a not a time to step back from parenting. It’s the moment to lean in.

Looking after young children is exhausting for parents, and by the time children become adolescents, parents often spend less time with their kids. It is common for children to slip under the parental radar, occupied by extracurricular classes arranged for by parents, or drifting into their own digital worlds.

For example, one of Mawandia’s clients is a young 14-year-old boy diagnosed with ADHD who is prescribed increasing dosages of medicines every time the school complains of lack of concentration. His father is occupied with work and golf, while his mother doesn’t have the language or initiative to engage with him in his struggles. This results in over-reliance on other teen friends and unhealthy social dynamics where he seeks gratification through sex.

Or a 16-year-old boy who came to her to address his porn addiction. “This got picked up by the mother because he used an alarming tone of voice with her and stopped discussing his studies and challenges with her. She started wondering what had changed in her sweet boy and their close relationship. Often, the clues are so subtle that if we are not attuned to our children, they are easy to miss,” she says.

Stewart concurs. “Adolescence, at its essence, is a transitional phase between childhood and adulthood where everything is changing. Part of it is moving away from your parents, but we also want teens to go back to their parents when they need them too. Parents have to walk a tightrope when managing these different messages.”

So how does one “lean into adolescence?”

By recognising that a different approach to parenting is needed. With young children, parents are establishing the foundations of behaviour: Teaching right from wrong, setting clear boundaries, and ensuring their safety. Parents are the central decision-makers — they guide most aspects of a child’s life.

As children move into adolescence, though, their developmental needs shift — and so must the role of the parent. Teens begin to carve out their identities, seek independence, and explore personal values, interests, and social dynamics. That means parenting must become more collaborative, supportive, and responsive rather than controlling.

In other words, being a “coach and cheerleader”, as Mawandia puts it. A coach doesn’t play the game for the player, but they’re deeply invested in the player’s growth, offering guidance, encouragement, feedback, and support. They help their teen navigate challenges, build skills, reflect on mistakes, and gain confidence, all the while gradually stepping back so the teen can take ownership of their decisions and identity. For example, a teen might be interested in a variety of pursuits — such as cookery, astrophysics, design and stock market investing. The parent may not have the needed knowledge in each area, but they can connect the teen to individuals with the right expertise, and guide them on how to explore their exploding curiosity, rather than dismissing these interests as “random.”

Just as teens transition into adulthood, parents need to transition into coaches — and that transition entails shifting from being an authority to being an ally, from being directive to being supportive, from exerting control to building connections, from establishing rules to nurturing relationships, from protecting to preparing, and finally, from being a leader to being a listener. It sounds tough, but to prevent the occurrence of more Jamie Millers from going out into the world, it’s totally worth doing.

Aparna Piramal Raje is author of Chemical Khichdi: How I Hacked My Mental Health. The views expressed are personal