Valentine's Day date game: Here are the romantic gestures that are winning Gen Z and millennials in India

It’s the month of all things romance but are Indians really as romantic as our movies claim? Is chivalry dead? What are some of the most popular romantic gestures for Indians? What does love mean to a modern woman in India? Ahead of Valentine’s Day, here's shedding light on how Gen Z and millennials in India define and express love.

Our dating cultures continue to evolve in India with more single people, women in particular, being more intentional about who and how they want to date but how romantic are Indians? Bumble reveals Indians are all heart and big romantic gestures, candlelit dinners to writing love letters and sending romantic texts is how Gen Z and millennials like to romance where writing love letters (63%), candlelit dinners (66%) and big gestures (51%) are considered to be most romantic to daters in India.

In an interview with HT Lifestyle, Samarpita Samaddar, India Communications Director at Bumble, revealed, “In 2023 people want to focus on challenging the status quo and outdated, antiquated dating norms without compromising on their choices, desires and needs. Women are prioritising emotional intimacy over physical requirements, and are open to dating without worrying about age gaps and judgements. Some of these positive shifts are encouraging to see as dating cultures continue to evolve in India.”

While 42% of single Indians surveyed consider public displays of affection (PDA) on social media and/or in real life dates to be romantic, 34% consider it as a cliche and 54% single Indians surveyed consider constant attention to be romantic while only 26% consider it as cliche.

As for whether chivalry is romantic or cliche, it was found that over 2 in 5 (41%) respondents think acts of chivalry are romantic while only 32% consider it a cliche. Coming to how do Indians feel about Valentine’s Day in 2023, the report revealed that 39% of single Indians feel that Valentine's Day is overrated and they do not feel the need to celebrate it irrespective if they are dating or not, even though 39% of single Indians want to go on a date on Valentine's Day this year.

This is more relevant for millennials (52%) than Gen Z (33%) while more GenZ (35%) than millennials (28%) claim they do not want to go on a date on Valentine's Day this year. So, what really matters in the early stages of dating? The research revealed that Indians want honesty and to not play games while women in particular want their space during early stages of a relationship and honesty (49%) and being friends first (43%) are more important to daters in India than responding to text messages quickly (26%).

Almost 2 in 5 (39%) single Indians surveyed prefer to have open conversations about their wants and expectations while 38% want to date someone who is easy to talk to and one who understands them. 35% of respondents also believe that it’s important to have shared values and beliefs when dating someone and 27% of women respondents claim that it’s important that their partner gives them space and not be clingy in the early stages of dating.

Addressing the ‘end-goals’ in relationships or what do people want from their dating journeys, the study found that people have several end goals where over half (53%) of respondents said living together is their ‘end goal’ when dating while almost half (49%) of respondents said being married is their ‘end goal’ when looking for a relationship. In fact, 51% of Gen Z respondents claim living together is their ‘end goal’ of their dating journey and a third (33%) of the respondents said having a child/children is their ‘end goal’ when looking for a relationship.

Indians find intellectual intimacy attractive and single Indians are becoming more intentional about their dating choices, prioritising their needs for compatibility when it comes to dating someone. Intellectual intimacy tops the charts as stimulating conversations are important to gauge compatibility. In fact, physical appearance seems to be less important as 34% of women respondents claimed that they prioritise emotional intimacy and intelligence, whereas only 21% prioritise physical intimacy when committing to a serious, long-term relationship.

In India, age gap relationships more than often raise questions and judgements from afar around interpersonal power dynamics between a couple but interestingly, looking ahead in 2023, 38% of single women surveyed admit being comfortable dating someone younger (1-5 years). Outdated societal norms still dictate how women are pressured to feel when it comes to age in relationships even in 2023. Almost 2 in 5 (39%) single women surveyed admit it gets more difficult to date when you get older as a woman, this is true for more millennial women (44%) than Gen Z (35%).

Throwing light on the biggest struggles women face in modern dating, it was found that over a third (36%) of women who were surveyed said finding someone with the same level of commitment as them is one of the biggest struggles women face while dating, followed by finding someone who shares the same or similar lifestyle, values, beliefs as them (34%) and finding someone who their family will approve of (28%). In fact, 40% of single women surveyed claim to be influenced by their family members’ opinions and 40% by their friends’ opinions when making decisions about their dating lives.