Struggles of making friends as adults: Expert offers insights

Friendships form the foundation of every relationship. The bonding shared by two people, the camaraderie which makes you get emotionally attached to the other person, and mostly having that one person who you can run to during all the difficult times. Friendships are beautiful – friends make you happy, they lend you their shoulders to cry in tough times and they go lengths to make sure that you are fine. However, with age, our friends circle also fades away in most cases. During childhood, we faced the least difficulty in making friends, but as we grow up, it becomes increasingly difficult to find the ones who matches our vibe.

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Psychologist Nicole LePera addressed the issue of the struggles of making and keeping adult friendship in a new Instagram post a few days back. She pointed out the reasons why it becomes difficult for us to make new friends after we have become adults.

Struggle to connect – When we have reached adulthood and most of our friends have got married and have a family with their kids, they often assume that the ones with no children yet are always free. Hence, they struggle to connect or find a common ground to have a good time.

Struggle to trust – Finding new people takes a long process. Getting to know them and finally trusting them to not leave and be honest with us is another long process which requires immense efforts and struggles from both ends.

Vibe that matches your tribe – In adulthood, we are always on the lookout for people who can support us, know our struggles, respect them and walk the road together. At this age, we are no more interested to hit the pubs, as much we are interested in healing ourselves and reaching our goals.

Culture’s socialisation game – We often believe that the socialisation of the culture depends on drinking with friends. And, when you don’t feel like drinking, you struggle more to connect with people.

No more gossips – We have passed that age when gossips, drama made us happy. Now we are not looking for friendships that tear each other down, instead we are looking for companions to build each other up.

Too burnt out – we no longer have the energy to start from scratch with other person and make new connections. Hence, it becomes more difficult to make new friendships.