Looks or intelligence? Study reveals what matters more in choosing a partner
Research indicates that while women and their parents assert intelligence is paramount in partner selection, attractiveness often prevails in actual choices.
We all say that brains matter more than looks when it comes to choosing a life partner, but do we really mean it? A new study suggests otherwise. Despite claiming that intelligence is the top priority, both women and their parents tend to pick the more attractive option when forced to choose, even if the less attractive one is described as smarter.
Across cultures, parents often play a key role in their daughters' mate selection, usually prioritising qualities that signal long-term stability, like intelligence and financial prospects. While both women and their parents claim to value intelligence highly and consider physical attractiveness less important, past research has mostly relied on self-reported preferences rather than real-world choices. (Also read: Relationship coach shares 6 ways to make your partner with anxious attachment feel safe: ‘If they feel alone…’ )
Differences in mate selection between daughters and parents
To test whether these stated ideals hold up in practice, Madeleine A. Fugère and her team set up an experiment where women and their parents had to make tough trade-offs between intelligence and physical attractiveness in a potential partner.
From an evolutionary perspective, attractiveness is seen as an indicator of genetic quality, while intelligence is linked to resource acquisition and parental investment. Women tend to place more emphasis on physical attractiveness than their parents, who may downplay it due to concerns about an attractive partner's long-term stability.
Study:
To explore these preferences, researchers studied 201 daughters (18-33) and 187 parents, mainly mothers, from a university and social media. Participants rated intelligence and attractiveness in a long-term partner before evaluating potential mates in a controlled experiment.
They used two pre-rated male photos, one more attractive than the other, paired with high or low intelligence ratings, creating four combinations. Participants rated their assigned man's traits and suitability as a long-term partner. In the final stage, they choose between their assigned man and an alternative from another condition, explaining their decision for themselves (daughters) or their daughters (parents).
Findings:
The study exposed a gap between stated preferences and actual choices. While both daughters and parents claimed to prioritise intelligence, most still picked the more attractive man, 72.6% of daughters and 59.6% of parents regardless of intelligence. Daughters and parents agreed 73.8% of the time, but when forced to choose, daughters leaned toward attractiveness over intelligence, while parents prioritised intelligence, likely valuing long-term stability and resources.
Participants justified their choices based on the given conditions. When the attractive man was also intelligent, intelligence was often cited as the key factor. However, when attractiveness and intelligence conflicted, daughters prioritised looks, while parents focused on intelligence.
The study highlights a disconnect between stated preferences and actual mate selection, showing that attractiveness holds more sway than people admit. It also suggests that parent-offspring conflict in mate choice is less significant than expected, as their decisions are often aligned. A key limitation is that the study used hypothetical scenarios rather than real-life relationships, which may affect how participants weighed trade-offs.
Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice.
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