Are narcissists their own worst enemy? Study reveals how their attention-seeking behaviour leads to social isolation

Grandiose narcissists see themselves as superior, crave admiration, and expect special treatment. We've all encountered them, the colleague who dominates every conversation or the friend who sulks when they're not the centre of attention. However, according to a recent study, their self-absorbed behaviour might be pushing people away rather than drawing them in. (Also read: Want to keep your muscles strong as you get older? A daily bowl of grapes could work wonders )

Narcissists are more sensitive to social exclusion

A study from the University of Basel in Switzerland suggests that narcissists, despite believing they deserve the spotlight, are actually more likely to be left out socially. Researchers found that individuals with grandiose narcissistic traits not only feel excluded more often but are also deliberately ostracised by others.

"Feeling ostracised is a subjective experience based on the perception of social cues by the individual. Some may be intentionally ostracised, while others may merely believe they are being excluded when that's not the case," said lead author Christiane Büttner, Ph.D., in a statement.

This wasn't a small study, researchers analysedanalysed data from over 77,000 people across seven studies. In Germany, 1,592 participants showed a clear trend: the more narcissistic traits someone had, the more they felt excluded. To explore further, 323 participants used a smartphone app for two weeks to log moments of social exclusion. Narcissists consistently reported feeling left out, whether from being ignored in conversations or missing invites.

Self-fulfilling cycle of social rejection

Published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, the study identified three key reasons for this pattern. First, narcissists are hypersensitive to exclusion, often misinterpreting minor social cues like a delayed text as a deliberate snub. Second, people actively avoid them. In experiments with over 2,500 participants, individuals consistently chose to distance themselves from those with narcissistic traits, creating a self-fulfilling cycle of exclusion.

Third, it's a vicious cycle. Analysing 14 years of data from over 72,000 people in New Zealand, researchers found that as narcissistic behaviours increased, so did social exclusion the following year. But here's the twist, being excluded actually made their narcissistic traits worse over time. "Narcissism may contribute to social exclusion, but ostracism itself can also fuel the development of narcissistic traits," explains Büttner.

Workplace and social consequences of exclusion

The study also highlighted two key ways narcissism manifests. Some individuals crave admiration—think of the coworker who constantly brags about their achievements or the friend who floods social media with perfectly curated posts. Others display rival behaviours, undermining people, reacting aggressively when others get attention, and competing for status at every turn.

For organisations and social groups, the study highlights an important takeaway: simply excluding difficult individuals isn't a solution. In fact, it could worsen their behaviour over time, creating even bigger challenges for everyone involved. "If people with high narcissistic traits are more likely to feel and be excluded, this could contribute to escalating tensions in workplaces or social groups. At the same time, their heightened sensitivity to exclusion might make them more likely to react aggressively," says Büttner.

The research highlights an important cycle: narcissism and social exclusion reinforce each other. When people with narcissistic traits feel left out, their behaviour often worsens, making them even more likely to be excluded. Recognising this pattern can help us navigate conflicts more effectively, whether in the office or in personal relationships. Instead of simply pushing difficult individuals away, finding healthier ways to manage their behaviours could lead to better long-term outcomes for everyone involved.

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your doctor with any questions about a medical condition.