Triggered: Five texting styles that send us into panic mode
Hi. Hellooooo. Hey! Texting is serious business now. And how you phrase and punctuate can make all the difference in a ping-crazy world
Merry Christmas. That was the world’s first text message, sent by software architect Neil Papworth in 1992. Short, sweet, to the point. Now? We’re wading through five-part voice notes from our friend and are communicating via White Lotus memes on the College Squad group chat.
There was a time we would txt lyk dis because SMS could only accommodate 160 characters per message, and we were charged for every text we sent. But in the age of WhatsApp and Wifi, there’s no need to squeeze the words in. And yet, texting has developed its own set of rules.
A 2016 study conducted by Binghamton University, State University of New York, suggests that emojis, irregular spellings and exclamation points in text messages aren’t signalling the fall of civilisation — these “textisms” help convey meaning and intent in the absence of spoken conversation.
So, adding full-stops to a text can actually make it feel insincere. Perfect grammar is a sign of trying too hard. Stretched words (Yesssss) are just a way to add emphasis. ALL CAPS can come off as aggressive. In 2025, Papworth’s “Merry Christmas” text reads less cheerful, more passive aggressive. Why no emoji? Why so abrupt?
And through it all, some texting rules still apply.
Don’t dally. We get it. You’re busy. But if you’ve seen a message (and the blue ticks show that you did), don’t wait hours before you reply. Who among us hasn’t, at some point, composed a response in our heads but didn’t actually key it out? That excuse works once, maybe twice. Dally over a chat over and over, and you come across as someone who can’t be bothered to hold their end of a conversation. And whatever you do, do not reply five days later with: “Lol true.” True what? The moment’s passed.
Don’t dry text. That thoughtful message, which unfolds in neat paragraphs and comes peppered with nice emojis wasn’t composed for you to hit back with: K (or worse, K with a full stop). A long message indicates that the sender is reaching out, wants to communicate, cares enough to share. So your “lol sux” or “haha cool” feels like a slap in the face. Your “Seen it” response to memes only makes people wonder why you didn’t share what you saw in the first place. Oh, and the heart-react? We know you’ve run out of things to say.
Don’t tease. No one wants to open a text and see “Hi” and nothing else. Ain’t nobody got time for no-context salutations. Are you texting to ask for money or to share lottery winnings with us? The Anxious Generation can’t deal with “Can I ask you something?” or “We need to talk” or “Guess what happened today” either. Just tell us so we don’t spiral. Is it a breakup? Terminal illness? Or did you see your favourite crow again? We need to prep.
Don’t do a voice-note dump. Market-research company YouGov, in a study last year, found that 57% of Indians prefer text over voice notes. They’re just easier to skim. Besides, most people don’t prep before they record and end up rambling. A good rule of thumb: If you can’t fit your voice message in the allotted one-minute, text instead of sending two (or ten!). This isn’t a podcast. You’re not Hamlet. We’ve got things to do.
Don’t make another group. We’re already part of enough chats and are currently ignoring 80% of them. All groups ultimately devolve into irrelevant chatter and forwards anyway. If you must make a temporary group to plan an event, put the date in the subject so we know when to exit it. Getting added to groups is weird. Just ask Jeffrey Goldberg, The Atlantic’s editor-in-chief who got added to a Signal text chain about the US government bombing Yemen. He couldn’t even say “New phone, Houthis?”.
From HT Brunch, April 19, 2025
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