Spectator by Seema Goswami: YOLO. It’s okay, go solo
Two’s company, three’s a crowd. And one’s a party. It’s so liberating to do things on your own. Why wait for other people?
I have ever so often, in this very column, made the case for going out to eat alone. I do this all the time and I can’t recommend it enough. It gives you time to people-watch. You can simply sit with your thoughts. It means you eat at your own pace. And the best part is that even though you are alone, you are enjoying your meal with someone you love.
But when I was thinking about this on one of my solo lunches, it occurred to me that there are many things that we — especially women — are wary (or just shy) of doing on our own. And it would benefit us all — men included — if we could normalise doing these activities alone.
Here are just a few examples.
Going on holiday. It always irks me that single travellers are asked to join a group of strangers or some like-minded friends when they are planning a holiday. What on Earth is wrong about heading out to explore the world on your own? I’ll tell you what: Nothing! There is something so liberating about venturing out on a solo vacation with no thought of pleasing anyone other than yourself. Want to spend the morning lazing in the sunshine in the park? Go ahead, treat yourself. Wish to spend hours trekking around museums looking at Renaissance paintings? Knock yourself out. Feel like treating yourself to a play? Book that ticket now.
Going to see a movie. For some reason, most people are leery about going to the cinema — or to a play or music concert, for that matter — on their own. I guess their fear is that they will look like sad little weirdos who don’t have any friends or partners to enjoy the experience with. Well, allow me to let you in on a secret. Nobody at the movie/play/concert is paying any attention to you or sparing a single thought as to why you are alone. They are simply there to enjoy themselves. As are you — so, what are you waiting for?
Attending an event. This is the one that people find the most tricky. The thought of turning up to a party, a wedding, an exhibition, a red-carpet event or even a fashion show seems to strike terror in most hearts. Making a solo entry strikes most people as being an awkward business. And imagine having to then stand around with a drink in your hand with no one else to talk to? Well, the truth is that you don’t need to do that. Have that drink by all means but mingle with the other guests. Introduce yourself. Join in conversations. And before long, you will find your own tribe.
So don’t let your solitary state stop you from doing things you enjoy. Book that spa vacation you’ve been dreaming about. Head out for a walk or a yoga class on your own. Once you learn to enjoy your own company, you will never ever be truly lonely — even if you are alone.
From HT Brunch, April 12, 2025
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