Spectator by Seema Goswami: Take a minute, personally
Self-care doesn’t have to mean splurges or huge gestures. Sometimes, it’s the moments you spend in the day unwinding from life
It was my mother who first modelled self-care to me — even though I was too young at that time to recognise it for what it was. We lived in a joint family with my grandparents, and running a household of seven people with minimal help was a full-time job for her. But in the midst of all that chaos, my mother still found ways to carve out some time for herself.
For one thing, she would wake up every morning around 3am, when the rest of the household was asleep. She would have a long leisurely bath, she would do her (very elaborate) puja, she would make a cup of tea for herself. And then, having had some quality time to herself, she would slip back into bed until it was time to wake everyone up and start another long day.
She had another daily ritual, which was totally immutable. After she had made lunch, made sure everyone was fed, and that the kitchen was clean, at exactly 2pm she would retire to her room and lock the door. I never knew what she did in there. She could have been reading a book. She could have been taking a nap. All she would say is that she was not to be disturbed until 4pm, when she would unlock the door and emerge to organise evening tea for the family.
Even as a child I realised that this time was sacrosanct to her. And that I should not intrude on her in these two hours on pain of death (or, even, if I was actually dying!) This was her me-time — not that we used that phrase in those days — and all of us needed to respect that. And that, we certainly did.
Those early lessons in self-care left me with a lifelong insistence on making time for myself no matter how busy my life got. When I was editing the features section of a newspaper and had long days at work, I would always take an hour out for lunch. I didn’t go out to eat every day, but I did ensure that nobody disturbed me even if I was just eating a sandwich at my desk and decompressing with a book.
When I was working on my first novel, Race Course Road, and had tight deadlines to meet, I would always knock off work at around 4pm to take a walk. It could be just around the neighbourhood or I would venture to Sunder Nursery or Lodi Gardens to let both my legs and my mind wander. That break, in retrospect, was critical in ensuring that I didn’t get overwhelmed by the enormity of the task I had embarked on.
When it comes to self-care, though, it’s the quality of time that matters, not the quantity. Even taking 15 minutes off in the course of the day to listen to music, do the crossword, try your hand at the day’s Wordle, or just make yourself a cup of coffee which you sip at leisure, makes you feel less stressed.
Taking a break makes sure that you don’t break. Don’t take my word for it, though. Try it for yourself and see what a difference it makes.
From HT Brunch, March 01, 2025
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