Spectator by Seema Goswami: House party, house rules

Sometimes the best way to hang out with friends is at home. You have a reasonable expectation of privacy, with no nosy waitstaff eavesdropping on conversations. No spending hours poring over the menu and then getting served your main courses 10 minutes apart. Also, most importantly, it costs a fraction of the price of eating out. But there are some rules of entertaining at home that you should adhere to if you want your guests to have a great time.

First off, welcome drinks. Please don’t put people on the spot by asking them “What would you like to drink?” the moment they walk through the door. They haven’t had a chance to check out the bar or the drinks cupboard and have no idea what you have to offer. Instead, offer them options. It’s makes more sense to say, “Would you like a glass of red or white or champagne? Or is whiskey or vodka or gin more to your taste?” That way, they know what their options are and can choose accordingly.

It’s always a good idea to have some canapés on hand, because everyone likes to nibble on something while they drink. But keep it light so that your guests don’t fill up too much before dinner. Nuts and chips are a good idea, a cheese platter makes sense, or maybe even a plate of crudités with dips. Any more than that, and you risk ruining everyone’s appetites even before dinner is laid on the table.

Ah dinner! Please, for god’s sake, don’t serve it at midnight. The latest it is acceptable to lay it out is 10 pm, when people are still hungry enough to enjoy it. And when you plan your meal, make sure that you have made adequate accommodations for the vegetarian guests. Don’t just serve lots of meat, chicken and fish with the token yellow and black dal for vegetarians. Make them at least a couple of main courses that they can enjoy. Remember non-vegetarians can always enjoy vegetarian dishes. But it doesn’t work the other way around.

When you are introducing people who haven’t met, it’s not enough to tell them each other’s names and leave them to it. Add a little bit of information and context so that they can make a proper conversation. And by that I don’t mean just saying who he or she is married to. Instead say what they do, what their interests are, where they went on holiday recently maybe. That helps facilitate conversations that may otherwise be a bit stilted.

Don’t let anyone monopolise the guest of honour, if you have one. There are always some pushy people at every party who will make a beeline for the most important person in the room and then refuse to leave him or her alone. And there will also be some shy retiring people who are too modest to push themselves forward. It is your duty as a host to make sure that the pushy ones get moved on after a while and the shy ones get a chance to meet and spend some time with the guest of honour.

Remember, a party is only fun if everyone is having a good time. And, as the host, it is up to you to ensure that. 

From HT Brunch, February 22, 2025

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