Pets v/s pettiness: When the world can’t adjust to furry friends
Adjusting to life with a furry friend is tough enough. It’s harder when the world beyond still won’t acknowledge the bond
Pets, they say, are basically babies that never grow up. Adults on the other hand, can be total babies when it comes to recognising a pet as a member of the family. As more Indians welcome a dog or cat into their households, they’re grappling with the everyday responsibility of keeping an animal alive and happy. They’re also realising how dismissive the world can be towards a pet parent. See how it’s spawning new complications, at home and in the world beyond.Special addition
Mumbai vet Dr Malhar Joshi has seen several cases in which families excitedly brought a pet home as a plaything, only to abandon it weeks later, because the animal grew sullen or disruptive from inadequate care. In Gurugram, one family of three is learning some lessons the hard way.
They adopted Treat, a Maltese pup three months ago, and while they did set up poop mats, a doggy bed, a security cage, chew toys and a vet on call, the mental and emotional adjustment has taken longer. Treat didn’t settle in right away. He refused to eat for 30 straight hours for the first two weeks. Then came teething. He has chewed on everything, from furniture to flip-flops. As the primary caregiver, media marketer Niyati Kumar, 46, gets woken up three times before 6.30am on most days. Treat wants food, attention and sometimes just reassuring pats through the night. “It was a slow realisation that puppies need as much hands-on care as human babies do, and continue to need that as they grow,” she says. “But one has to dive in, exactly as parents of human babies would. You wouldn’t abandon a child over sleepless nights.”
Dr Joshi now counsels every potential pet parent on whether they’re ready to for multiple daily walks, interaction, constant care and responsibility for at least the next 10 years. “Younger dogs need regular de-worming, vaccination and annual check-ups; older ones need bi-annual ECGs, X-rays and blood tests,” he says. Most families are surprised to learn that big dogs need a room-sized space to themselves and are not a good idea in apartments and small homes.
External affairs
Those that do right by their furry friends find that there remains a disconnect with the rest of the world. Social structures are just not geared to accommodate families with animals.
Chiranjiv Rajan and Srushti Gandhi, 30-year-old chartered accountants in Mumbai, are parents to Pepper, a three-year-old Indie dog. Friends and immediate family welcomed the addition. “But many extended family members are not OK visiting the house,” says Rajan. It’s as much out of fear as disgust – many folks still struggle to accept that humans might choose to share their living spaces with a beast.
New pet parents, then, find that they have to navigate tricky territory. House guests expect an animal to be locked away or leashed in a corner for the duration of their visit. “But it’s as much the animal’s home as it is ours,” argues Utpal Khot, a social-media strategist who fosters animals in need in his Navi Mumbai home. “Some people have made up their minds that my place is unclean and unhygienic, which is not true,” he says. “My wife, our 12-year-old son and I clean up after our pets.”
Khot has encouraged visitors to let down their guard. Sometimes it works. When it doesn’t, guests are reminded that his family – fur, claw, tails and all – comes first.
In other cases, pet parents are realising that while they love their dog or cat the way they would a child, the rest of the world can be casually discriminatory. When pet parents decline an invitation to a party of a weekend away because their pet needs to be cared for, there’s often little empathy.
Ironically, most dismissals come from family members, who see the pet as a problem rather than an elective addition. They question why a pet parent might buy branded pet care instead of feeding an animal leftovers, or giving them old bedding to sleep on.
Pet parents are done with rolling their eyes at every raised eyebrow. “Why skimp to keep your pet safe, healthy and comfortable?” asks N. “And why are pet parents expected to justify spending on someone they’ve chosen to bring home, who gives them so much joy?”
Official note
The pandemic may have helped right the balance. Many who’ve returned to the office after months of clocking in from home say that workplace sensitivity towards the pet family is greater. There’s less stigma when an employee takes time off to care for an animal. Mrinalini M Khusape, founder of PawPurrfect, a Mumbai-based pet grooming and behaviour-training service, says many companies now have office pets and are open to furry friends visiting. “Pets can help create calmer work environment, with less employee friction,” she says. “They’re great stress-busters. Pets humanise us.”
Some still need convincing. When Pune-based hairstylist Warada Bhide, 41, lost her dog, Manku, two years ago, one long-time friend in her WhatsApp group remained apathetic to her grief. The woman would skip past the condolences and move on to banal questions about everyone’s weekend plans. That’s all it took for Bhide to unfriend her.
