No love triangle: How to balance work, sleep, and socialising
Work, socialise, sleep. It’s getting impossible to even do the three basics. Why is the bare minimum so out of reach these days?
Back in the day, a happy life had three ingredients: food, shelter, clothing. Then, in 1943, American psychologist Abraham Maslow slapped on more layers of human needs and set up a hierarchy. In addition to the basics, humans also needed to be feel safe, confident and emotionally and creatively fulfilled. And for years, it worked. Now, we’ve stretched ourselves so thin today that we’ve gone back to three basics: Work, sleep, socialising.
And worse, most of us can manage only two out of three.
Commutes are long. Work hours are longer. We’re supposed to get 30 minutes of daily cardio in, text our besties back (and update them on the tea before it gets cold), eat three carb-protein-fibre-rich meals, pet the pets, watch all the cool shows, comment on the news, track the family drama, clear the TBR pile of books, keep up with the Kardashians, and get eight hours of sleep. Oh, and don’t forget about posting about it all on social media.
The math ain’t mathing. Dolly Parton’s 9 to 5 goes, “Barely gettin’ by, it’s all takin’ and no givin’”. Same, Dolly, same.
Our perception of time is broken. In the pandemic, life slowed down to the point of stopping. Now, it’s rushing so fast we can’t keep up. A study published in the California journal PLOS One last July found that for those who celebrate Christmas and Ramadan, the festivals seem to be coming around more quickly each year. We’re just that busy.
It’s no longer possible to do it all. If you work late to lighten tomorrow’s to-do list, you can’t do drinks and dinner and still get enough sleep. If you prioritise rest, brace for all the guilt over not keeping up with your friends. Do both and work will slip. Do all the work and be a social butterfly by night, and you might as well put your bed up for sale.
Is there a way out? TV show host Jimmy Kimmel and his wife Molly McNearney, who work in late-night television, unwind by staying in bed and ordering takeout. Actor Emma Watson rarely posts on social, rarely makes public appearances -- she’s only out when she’s on the job and has something to promote.
If the 24/7 isn’t working out (Be honest now, it’s not working out for anyone), consider a less-demanding job for the next year. Simone Biles withdrew from some events at the 2020 Tokyo Olympics to focus on her mental health. Cameron Diaz took a decade off from Hollywood to spend time with her family. Shah Rukh Khan, on the other hand, would rather work than rest. He sleeps at 5am and gets up at 9am to meet shooting schedules and workout goals and configure his trifecta. Dakota Johnson says sleep is her “number one priority in life”. If you have FOMO and can’t bear to see your besties partying without you, there’s no way to do it and rest and work hard too.
Let your priorities drive the balance. Pull a Murthy or a Subrahmanyam if you need to pay your bills. Remember that everyone else is working to their priorities too. In her bestselling book, What You Are Looking For Is In The Library, Japanese author Michiko Aoyama says, “You managed to find employment, you go to work every day and you can feed yourself. That’s a fine achievement”.
In this economy, we’ll take the small wins.
From HT Brunch, February 08, 2025
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