Love, red flags, life: Naina Bhan & Sakshi Shivdasani spill all the tea
Who else but Naina Bhan and Sakshi Shivdasani to break down what it really means to live the 20-something life?
Think of them as your friendly neighbourhood virtual besties. Content creator Sakshi Shivdasani, 27, has been all over our socials, posting Reels about annoying relatives, men who need gentle parenting, and her love-hate relationship with girlhood. Influencer and actor Naina Bhan, 32, has appeared in Made in Heaven (2019) and the 2023 Netflix series, Class.
In 2023, the two teamed up for Moment of Silence, a podcast that’s really a messy tote bag for all the weird thoughts running amok inside their heads. Nothing was off the table: The women tackled turn-ons (being in a woman’s car), body hair (and judgy salon staff) and which underwear is hook-up friendly.
It’s a lot. It’s also a great look at what it means to be a 20-something today. So, when we asked them for more, we’re not surprised that more unfiltered thoughts came tumbling out -- and a bit of wisdom too. Take a moment; the tea’s hot.
What are young people obsessing over today?
Naina Bhan: Fear of what the future holds, definitely. Finding a community, definitely. And being single! But 20-somethings are super introverted. They want to step out and make friends, but are intimidated by the idea.
Sakshi Shivdasani: They’re also worried about how they’re perceived. Naina said this in one of our episodes, “When 20-somethings walk into a room, they wonder, ‘Will everybody like me?’ But they’ll never stop to think, ‘Do I even like these people?’” They obsess over whether they should be the first person to initiate a relationship.
Which relationship red flags make no sense to your parents?
SS: Texting weirdly. If someone doesn’t type properly or uses the wrong emojis, it’s an ick for me. My parents don’t understand why it matters. But I’m like Eww! And if a person can’t understand meme references, it’s like talking to a wall.
NB: If I’m on a date, and the guy doesn’t know how to order, or has a limited palate, that’s a red flag for me. Their meme language shouldn’t be too basic. My parents don’t understand why my patience is so thin.
Surely there are green flags, too?
NB: Recognising and respecting boundaries.
SS: Understanding equity of labour, essentially that someone should be compensated according to the work they do. We’re a generation that believes in splitting all costs.
This generation also seems more burdened by global problems. What worries you about humanity?
SS: I find that men, especially, are a lot more conservative than previous generations. Women are growing more liberal. We’re demanding equal pay, we’re thinking about our investments, we’re not depending on others for financial security. It all impacts how well we advocate for ourselves. And men aren’t really keeping up. It’s building up to a loneliness pandemic.
NB: I worry about the future of women’s health. Scientists have found micro plastics inside even human eggs!
Companies view young people as entitled. Are they really?
NB: Workplace dynamics have been exploitative for so long, it’s been hard to advocate for what you deserve. Life will put you in your place, so it’s better to aim high to begin with. Now that everyone in the workplace is doing that, it’s misunderstood as audacity.
SS: Yeah. Why put boundaries on how much you deserve? You deserve the world. The world is already talking down to you. Why do it to yourself?
Where should young people draw the line between exploitation and ambition?
NB: I think setting boundaries means being a bit harsh. If you’re offending someone, you’ve done the right thing. You have to stand up for yourself, because no one else will.
SS: I would rather offend others than offend myself. Just go after what you want. It’s okay to be delulu sometimes.
How has the pandemic affected 20-somethings?
SS: We’ve all come out with slightly weaker social batteries; everyone just seems more introverted. Human connection is more valued now, but at the same time, we’re protecting ourselves. We lost three years of our lives; we’ll need a bit to figure out what defines us.
NB: So many community-specific activities just broke down. We’re more invested in cafes than clubs, or just listening to music alone. We want be part of a community, but on our own terms.
Everyone also wants to be famous. They’re convinced that going viral once will do it. What do they not get about building lasting fame?
SS: That the internet forgets very quickly. I was creating content for three years before the podcast. The show changed people’s perception of me in a way that I wasn’t able to control, earlier. That’s an important way of staying relevant.
NB: Young people need to be reminded that their dreams need to be backed by work. Going viral will always be dictated by an algorithm and often has nothing to do with the person. To be famous now means that a person is showing up on your feeds several times a day. So, aim for consistency, keep posting. Set up those touchpoints: Community building, merch, courses. Once you integrate yourself as part of someone’s consumption habits, that’s when you’re famous.
Will we ever pull the plug on the internet?
NB: No. It’s part of human existence now. You could drop me anywhere in the world with just my phone, and as long as I have a good connection, I’ll survive.
SS: We’re obsessed with Instagram today. It may be something else tomorrow. But we’re staying online. You can escape it, but do you really want to?
What makes young people laugh that anyone older than 30 will just not get?
NB: Making fun of Millennials! It’s hilarious.
SS: Pure brainrot. No one understands why Juice Pila Do is funny. Or why ganji chudail slaps so much. We have niche humour. We’re also four layers deep into the internet.
What are your tips for living your 20s to the fullest?
SS: Do what you want and make memories. You don’t want this period to be something you can’t talk about later on.
NB: Make a lot of mistakes, just so that you can learn crucial things about yourself: What you like, what you hate, who you are. Don’t be afraid to mess up.
Who represents the present moment best?
NB: Emma Chamberlain. We’ve seen her make videos in her room, and now she’s at the Oscars after-party and the Met Gala. She has the ability to make life seem really interesting, no matter what she does.
Apoorva Mukhija too. She has her finger on the pulse of what young people are thinking and feeling.
Is quarter-life crisis real?
SS: We’re a generation that’s grown up sharing our thoughts and moods with the entire internet, and are exposed to how everyone else is feeling. I don’t think people in older generations could even fathom that kind of exposure to the world.
What’s the best advice someone on the internet gave you?
SS: That I need to talk faster!
What really makes killer content right now?
NB: TMI. That’s what the audience is looking for.
Which classic movie makes no sense to young people?
SS: Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na. I wouldn’t want a guy I’m dating or one that my friend is dating to be hung up over his best friend. I would flip my lid!
From HT Brunch, February 08, 2025
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