Looking like a vow: Why every wedding wants to go viral, at any cost
Fake tears, filmi entries, flash mobs, fit checks. Weddings are Insta spectacles now. And planners are struggling to contain the chaos
Indian weddings are a circus as it is — a mehendi, a sangeet, a haldi, a bachelorette night, a bridal shower. The day of the ceremony has the baraat, the puja, pheras, and now an exchange of vows, speeches and a father-daughter dance. And yet, Indians have found a way to squeeze in a first-look video, a makeup before-and-after transition, a Ladkewale fit check, a slo-mo of the rose-petal shower at the entrance, a flash mob with guests, and 30 other clips for Insta.
It’s exhausting. Given that families go all-out on wedding budgets, everyone wants their celebrations to go viral. “Most weddings today are all about content,” says Manvi Gandotra of 1Plus1 Studio, a wedding photography and videography studio.
Conversations with wedding planners used to be about how many relatives would be included in the family portrait. Now, they’re about how many videos they can fit into the content plan. There are special social media teams for the ceremonies. Guests are expected to dress in a prescribed colour to make the videos pop. Panditji is given an outfit, as is the man driving the vintage car for the groom’s entry. Some backdrops are off-limits to guests and are reserved for “exclusive” web content. And every client expects photographers to produce photos and videos within hours of them being shot, so they can share them online in real time. “People want the world, not just their friends or family, to know how exceptional their wedding was,” says Gandotra.
It means that planners, photographers and social media managers now have an additional job — to help families manage their own ambitions. Here’s how they try to prevent the circus from falling apart.
Put a price on it
Some trims are easy. At Area 83, a wedding venue in Bengaluru, most grooms want to make their grand entrance in a helicopter. “But the moment we tell clients what it costs to hire one, they quickly pick a car, motorcycle or bicycle instead,” says director Tariq Sheriff.
Where money is no object, things can spiral out of control. Wedding photographer and videographer Ashish Langde has had to deal with one bride who got them to shoot everything, from her being dressed, to her entry, over and over again, delaying the ceremony, screaming at vendors and family members and making the experience stressful and unpleasant.
Gandotra has planned 300 weddings. “Couples get so occupied in creating content that they don’t have time to talk to their guests, or enjoy their own wedding day,” she says. So, managing expectations starts from the very first call. Gandotra tells them that they won’t have time to execute every dream plan they have, and suggests that the couple and the family spread out their activities: Do pre-wedding shoots for the ’gram; and let photographers record the ceremonies on the wedding day.
In the US, “NRI couples are willing to spend as much as $50,000 for a photo, video and reel package for a day and a half,” says Reshma Ramaiah of Resh&Co, which plans weddings in India, the US and Italy. She recommends that couples hire photographers who fit the theme — someone who works in grainy black-and-white will do a better job bringing out moody deep moments than, say, a person who specialises in proms.
Curate, then celebrate
A wedding is a real event with real people. Most couples, however, insist on performing for the cameras. Gandotra had a client who wanted to make web-series-style video over their three-day wedding. They wanted every guest to play a role, follow a script, and laugh and cry on cue. Every planner has a story about that one wedding, at which the bride-reveal moment was set up, and there was pressure on the groom to cry when he glimpsed his bride. Only he didn’t, upsetting her enough to demand a reshoot.
So, planners now warn clients not to fake the emotion just for a chance at viral fame. Langde got married recently, as did Sheriff. Both steered clear of choreographed moments. They gave photographers the creative freedom to capture actual candid shots. Sheriff’s team made a Reel of him being egged by his friends during the haldi ceremony. “It wasn’t planned. But it got thousands of views,” he says.
Besides, who wants a fake video to commemorate a real union? Parthip Thyagarajan, co-founder and CEO of WeddingSutra.com says that play-acting rarely works well on social media: “Most people don’t understand that they are not professional actors.”
Follow the plan
Nisar Ahmed, who runs his own wedding social media company, discusses and locks in every detail of a Reel with his clients — the song, the palette, the filter, the moments —before the wedding day. They work out what can and cannot be done given the venue, décor, outfits and time available. It prevents meltdowns on an already emotional and chaotic day.
And he deputes one member of his team to shadow the couple and do what it takes to get their Reels made. Often, that means shoving their friends out of the way, restricting the guests’ movement in a particular area and getting the family together for some shots. In spite of that, he’s sometimes had to Photoshop a family member in the frame.
Another good reason to curate and prepare: Couples don’t know how much is too much. Some clients have asked photographers to film even the table runners at their reception dinner. So Ramaiah asks them to prioritise what they’d most want to remember about the special day. They rarely pick the place settings.
From HT Brunch, April 05, 2025
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