Wish list: The stuff of Jim Sarbh’s dreams
We asked the man of the moment to list things he wishes were real. He’d like teleportation, open discourse and more. Want fries with that? He probably does
Of course, we can imagine a world without Jim Sarbh. We just don’t want to. The actor, a week short of 36, sprung on to the scene seemingly from nowhere in 2016, all cheekbones, poker face, piercing eyes and tight curls. He played the terrorist Khalil, in Neerja, a film about the attempted 1986 hijacking of Pan Am Flight 73 in Karachi, which was thwarted by its brave head purser, Neerja Bhanot.
He was the bad guy in Padmaavat (2018) and Sanju (2018) and revealed a softer side in the music video for Prateek Kuhad’s cold/mess (2018). Sarbh has also landed roles in big-ticket films such as Gangubai Kathiawadi (2022), in which he plays journalist Hamid Fezi; web series such as Rocket Boys (2022), in which he appears as scientist Homi J Bhabha; even indie films such as Yeh Ballet (2020), in which he plays the head of a ballet school.
And here he is, as a rich, spoilt, cheating, Delhi brat in Zoya Akhtar’s Made in Heaven Season 2. You may not root for Adil Khanna on the show, but his frustrations will seem familiar: mild traumas are glossed over to keep up appearances, wedding budgets nearly eclipse the institution of marriage.
Weddings are no fairy tale, fiction is often the inspiration for reality. So who better than Sarbh to talk about his favourite imaginary objects and ideas.The world he’s dreamed up seems like so much fun!
What I wish were real:
The Babel Fish. Douglas Adams invented it for the sci-fi classic The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Stick the fish in your ear, and it translates any language in the universe. The books describe it as the oddest thing in the universe. But for anyone who’s struggled with translation on a trip away from home, it’s really a thing of genius, even if it feeds on your brainwaves. “The ability to speak any language instantly would be cool,” says Sarbh.
Taste simulators. Imagine a device that could fool the tongue’s receptors by precisely activating salty, sweet, sour, bitter and other tastes, replicating the flavours of a pie being baked on TV, a recipe from Harry Potter, the memory of a sandwich swapped from a friend’s lunchbox. Imagine being able to enjoy just the flavours, not the calories. “This could give the brain and tongue the equivalent of, say, chocolate cake without actually having to eat chocolate cake,” says Sarbh. There’d be no need to wait endlessly for a reservation at a Michelin-star restaurant. Or ever suffer a bad meal.
Therianthropy. Sarbh, a psychology graduate, describes it as the ability to metamorphose into animals or hybrids. Essentially, shapeshifting. Jacob Black transformed, at will, into a werewolf in the Twilight stories. Sirius Black, from the Harry Potter series, could turn into a dog. In the Calvin and Hobbes universe, a Transmogrifier literally lets the user turn into the animal of their choice. “It’ll be nice to metamorphose into an animal for a bit,” says Sarbh.
A mentor. “These already exist, I just don’t have one.” Sarbh says.
Wing attachments. “I fly in my dreams already, so why not?” wonders Sarbh. Falcon in Marvel’s Avengers (2015) had metallic wings that seem too heavy for flight. Angel, aka Warren Worthington III, from X Men Apocalypse (2016), had mutated ones that were easily damaged. Wasp from Ant-Man (2015) can grow a realistic pair via gene implants. Sarbh has hope.
Artistic integrity. “But without the capitalism, content commercialism and consumer confusion!”
Teleportation. Like all of us, Sarbh has been stuck in traffic jams, queued up at airports, endured long rides and wishes there were a quicker way to get around. Movies that feature this ability make it seem like an adventure. Hayden Christensen zaps around the world trying to flee the guys out to kill him in Jumper (2008). Sarbh worries that this might create space-time rifts and pose ethical dilemmas: Who’s to stop a stalker appearing by one’s bed every night? “Maybe teleportation with usage limits and safety features,” he suggests. “Perhaps only via assigned tubes or beams?” What he’s wishing for is Scottie, who beamed up Kirk, Spock and the entire Enterprise crew at the slightest sign of danger on Star Trek.
A smaller human population. “Obvious, no?” Sarbh asks. More space for living beings to think, exist and live their best life. Better use of resources too. What’s not to love?
A smell capturer. Sure, there are fragrances that claim to mimic the smell of a hot cookie, clean sheets and crisp mountain air. A real smell capturer should allow users to bottle a beloved smell at the source: The first time you hug the family baby, the first book you stayed up reading, the flowers from prom, puppy paws. “We could mix and match smells and make personalised smellscapes,” says Sarbh wistfully.
A mind’s-eye sketcher. “It’ll be cool to capture what’s in your mind in animation form immediately,” says Sarbh. Books would come to life as you read them. We’d have our own comic strip playing as we went about life. Of course, it would come with a mute button – not all thoughts need to be visualised.
A dream catcher. But next-level. “You get a transcript or film of your dreams,” says Sarbh. It will help with recurring dreams and forgotten bits. Overthinkers would have one more thing to obsess about. Who needs Netflix?
Civilised discourse. “We need open discussion on a wide range of topics, controversial and otherwise, and have people actually listen to each other,” says Sarbh. We seem to have less and less of it as time goes by.
Daemons. Imagine having an animal soulmate at birth, one that reflects your strongest traits. In Greek mythology, daimons were embodiments of love, darkness or justice. Philip Pullman included daemons in the His Dark Materials series. But really, anyone who’s loved their pet knows what it’s like to have the loyalty and judgement-free love of an animal companion.
Automatic massage beds. Not merely mechanised ones. “I want giant beds that gently stretch you without waking you up and deliver deep relaxation,” Sarbh says. Here’s a dream we didn’t even know we had!
A ‘sleep now’ switch. Goodbye late-night doom-scrolling. “It also reduces dependency on sleeping pills. I can’t stand them, I wake up groggy and feeling weird,” says Sarbh.
Invisibility cloaks. “For when you need to hide instantly,” says Sarbh. It’s Harry Potter’s most useful inheritance. Scientists in the real world have been trying to develop coats that live-project images from behind the user on to the fabric, rendering the coat, at least, invisible. They haven’t got it quite right.
Better cities. What Sarbh, who’s lived in Mumbai, Australia and the US, really wants is inclusive, sustainable, planned development, which takes humans (not cars and office complexes) into account. “We need urbansiation, but without the spiritual malaise and stress-inducing anxiety,” he says. “We spend most of our lives in cities, blocking out 90% of what we experience so we can pretend to be happy. Why?”
A giant slide that leads out of the window to a lake. “Wheeeee!”
