Goad idea: Why get angry when you can laugh about it?
Online spats, tweet storms, IRL taunts. Jokes land faster than jibes, humour can defuse tension. Lighten up, please?
Twitter (or X, for those still logging on) is a great place for anger. Long threads on why #MenAreTrash, clips of Karens losing it in public places, disagreements that escalate into personal attacks, replies that deliberately misconstrue a perfectly harmless sentiment.
Instagram, on the other hand, is smarter. Witty comebacks as pinned comments. Cartoon caption contests. Response Reels that highlight the funniest reactions to a post (#WrongAnswersOnly). Trends that die out only when the spoofs start to appear.
Be like Instagram. Defuse anger with humour, not more anger. Who wants more griping today, amirite? If only more people, online and IRL, understood that.
Dr Shweta Sharma, clinical psychologist and founder of the Mansa Global Foundation for Mental Health says there’s no humour without empathy. “Understand that people may have different perspectives and experiences,” she says. “Maybe they never a chance to heal. Find common areas of agreement and build upon them. Listen to what the other person has to say before responding.”
Tact takes time to polish, but it’s a deadly weapon in itself. “Using witty banter to acknowledge the issue makes people smile and can help defuse a heated situation,” says Dr Sharma. Try: “I think we’ve argued ourselves into a parallel universe of absurdity”. It can even lead to a productive discussion on the very subject that caused so much tension.
Nothing riles people up like personal comments do. No one wants to be asked when they’re getting married. But no one wants to sour the mood with monologues about the patriarchy either. Turn the question into a setup for a great joke, with your answer as the punchline. Try: ““I’m keeping the suspense alive; who doesn’t love a good plot twist?”. If the question is being posed by the parents (the toughest crowd!), do an UNO Reverse. Hit them with: “Why don’t you find me a man you think would be good to father and raise your grandchildren?”
“Sometimes it’s enough to smile tell people that they will be informed as and when it happens,” suggests Dr Jyoti Kapoor, psychiatrist and psychotherapist, and founder-director of Manasthali, Gurugram. “Getting upset helps none, least of all the person being questioned.”
The questions just keep coming, don’t they? Shut down those endless queries about salary without countering that it’s none of anyone’s business (It isn’t). Try: “It’s a magical number that only appears when I wave my paycheque under a full moon” or “My salary is the stuff of legends, whispered about but never seen”. Shush weight-watchers down. “Fat? There’s just more of me to love”
Humour is healthy, and it’s powerful. “But consider the context and the relationship with the individual. What one person finds funny, another may not,” says Dr Kapoor. It has no place during emergencies or crises, obviously, or when one is sharing an emotionally wrought moment. And read the room. “Forced or contrived humour can backfire and worsen the situation,” says Dr Sharma.
But in most cases, lightening up is better than lighting a fire. Back in 2014, Elle magazine put out six covers, celebrating different women in TV. Mindy Kaling was one of them, the only one featured in black-and-white, and closeup, excluding her ample curves. There was a public outcry. Kaling was having none of it: “If anyone wants to see more of my body, go on thirteen dates with me” she tweeted. Even on angry Twitter, sometimes, that’s all it takes.
