In the name of saving the world
Celebrities have been quick to show that they too have done their bit to support worthy causes, writes Manas Chakravarty.
Washington, April 24 (ANI): Actor Harrison Ford has shown his staunch support for environment protection in a rather novel way — by getting his chest waxed. The Indiana Jones star subjected himself to the painful beauty treatment in an effort to showcase the pain involved in deforestation.
Harrison Ford’s noble sacrifice of his chest hair has rung a sympathetic chord among his many admirers. “Earlier, whenever I waxed my legs, I would wonder whether it was really worth it. But Harrison has helped me see the light. I now know that I have to do my bit for the environment,” said Mrs Sharma, on her way to a beauty parlour. However, Amitabh Bachchan is reported to have trashed the idea. “What we need is forestation, not deforestation,” he said, according to completely unreliable sources, “and beards are the best way to show the need for forestation”. But another Indian hero, the proud possessor of a much-admired six pack, says wistfully he wished he had some chest hair to wax.
Other celebrities have been quick to show that they too have done their bit to support worthy causes. “I may not have had my chest hair removed, but I’m dieting and have lost a lot of weight, to showcase the pain involved in poverty,” said a woman who looked suspiciously like Kareena Kapoor, grimly eating broccoli at a posh restaurant. A star who modestly preferred to remain anonymous said she decided to go in for liposuction to stress the dangers from unregulated oil drilling. But Leonardo Di Caprio, who had starred in Blood Diamond, said picking one’s nose was sufficient to draw attention to illegal mining. Unfortunately, his minders whisked him away before he could carry out a demonstration. A fan who wanted to show the combined harmful effects of air pollution, over-eating and global warming was forcibly removed by policemen wearing gas masks.
Drawing attention to global warming has been one of the pet causes espoused by celebrities. A person allegedly close to Salman Khan says it’s the reason why the actor prefers to shed his shirt at the slightest opportunity. Others speculate that Rakhi Sawant’s hot item numbers are aimed at creating awareness about global warming, but there’s a bit of controversy about that interpretation, with economists claiming she does it for the money, to underline the success of Indian free enterprise. But everybody agrees that the huge amounts of hot air generated by politicians have added to global warming.
Others have done their bit for economic causes. Paris Hilton, for instance, has taken up shopping with a missionary zeal. “US GDP growth has fallen to 0.6 per cent in the first quarter, that’s not hot” she said, adding, “Spending on big-ticket items such as cars, appliances and furniture has contracted at a 6.1 per cent rate. It’s now up to me and Lindsay Lohan to shore up US consumption.” Her friend Britney Spears, however, is fighting for other causes. “I think we celebrities could do a lot to ensure transparency and openness in public life. That’s why I don’t wear underwear,” she said.
Cheerleaders who have been criticised for showing too much cleavage in the IPL matches have said their intention is entirely philosophical. “Our purpose is not to titillate, but to show the dialectical cleavage between myth and reality, between yin and yang, between being and nothingness,” explained an American cheerleader.
Some have supported rather odd causes. Asked why she went in for a butt lift, a shapely star said it was to draw attention to Shakespeare’s works. “I love Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream, which, as you are doubtless aware, contains the famous line, ‘Bottom, thou art changed, what do I see on thee?’ I thought my butt implant would help highlight that line,” she said.
But perhaps the most important cause is Pamela Anderson’s. “Inflation is 8.3 per cent in China and over 7.5 per cent in India. Food riots have erupted because of soaring rice prices. Enlarging our breasts is the least we can do to draw attention to global inflation,” she said.
Manas Chakravarty is Consulting Editor, Mint