Can the IIM miracle happen at LU?

So who should be the chief guest? That was the question. It was a unique occasion in the history of Lucknow University! With all its 30,000-odd students assured of six-figure salaries and several top companies having to return empty-handed simply because all the students had been absorbed, the LU authorities decided to let their hair down.
And why not! For a university whose teachers were always known to fight between themselves—-divided as they were on caste and class—the occasion was all the more memorable.
The success of the LU students in the just concluded placement week was virtually like a dream come true for most.    
That’s why the LU vice-chancellor as well as other administrative officials thought of organising a grand convocation function to award degrees to successful students who were now all set to enter prominent companies in reputed organisations.
So who should be the chief guest? LU V-C had formed a committee to decide the right person for the occasion?
“Bimal Jalan” offered the LU V-C. The LU Students union president—whose banners congratulating the successful students on the occasion were adorning every nook and corner of the campus—shot back, “who’s he?”
The V-C patiently tried to explain: “Oh, he is the former governor of the Reserve Bank of India and presently the member of the Rajya Sabha…”

“And”? The V-C elaborated, thinking that the LU Students’ Union president was genuinely interested in knowing about Dr Jalan:
“As member secretary of the planning commission he was the architect of India’s Ninth Five Year Plan. Besides, Dr Jalan has never resorted to clichéd schemes to stir up the economy.
“He always focused on result-oriented grass-root approaches. He has also held the position of Director, Economic Affairs at the Commonwealth Secretariat in London. Returning to India he was appointed chief economic advisor, finance ministry, by the then Prime Minister Indira Gandhi…”
”Oh, come on,” said the Students’ Union president who had had enough of it!  
What can he do for us?
“What do you mean?” the V-C asked. “Only a small institute can invite Dr Jalan. We are a big university. We need to invite someone special,” the Students’ Union president offered.
“Like what?” the V-C asked.
“Like Netaji, Behenji, Manyavar, Lauh Purush, Dharti Putra…Oh, we have so many gems amongst us who will be all too willing to come to LU on the occasion. Why miss the chance? We both will benefit,” the Students’ Union president offered.
“How” a surprised V-C asked.
“Cool” the president said adding, “See, you will get an extended term as V-C. You must be aware that V-C is a political post anyway. And we would benefit by taking the opportunity to convince the leaders about our popularity and thus a chance to contest elections on their party’s ticket.”
The V-C continued to resist. The president continued to tempt him until the news came: “IIM placements are over. All 219 students assured of 6-figure salaries. Dr Jalan to be the chief guest at the convocation function!”
A teacher said, “That is why LU can never be IIM. Forget, 100 per cent placement, it would be a miracle the day we place even 50 per cent. Our 100 per cent placements would always remain a dream!”