Avoidant discard: The slow-fade dating trend everyone is talking about
Avoidant discard is the internet’s new buzzword, following the trend of breadcrumbing, love-bombing, and nanoship
Your relationship was going perfectly with all those constant texts, endless plans, and a connection that felt unbreakable. Then, something shifted. They stopped responding as often, began avoiding deep conversations, and seemed to pull away without any clear explanation. This slow emotional retreat is what many now refer to as avoidant discard and it's internet's latest obsession after endless rants about breadcrumbing, love-bombing, and nanoship. Let's break out what is trend and how is it different from ghosting
What is avoidant discard in dating?
“Avoidant discard is a way of ending a relationship slowly and indirectly. Instead of clearly saying they want to break up, one person gradually pulls away emotionally and physically,” explains Relationship coach Sidhharrth S Kumaar.
This behavior involves with starting to cut back on correspondence, losing responsiveness, and putting little effort into maintaining the relationship."It shows a fear of vulnerability or an inability to handle the emotional side of ending a relationship directly," Kumaar notes. This avoidance of confrontation leaves the other person feeling confused and uncertain about what went wrong.
Why does it happen?
Avoidant discard is linked to emotional immaturity, a struggle with emotional intimacy, and a fear of hurting the other person directly. People who engage in avoidant discard may also feel unsure about their own feelings or the future of the relationship, so they pull away to avoid hurting the other person directly.
Research on attachment styles provides insight into this behavior. Individuals with avoidant attachment, often shaped by childhood experiences of emotional neglect or inconsistent caregiving, tend to suppress emotions and avoid closeness. When relationships become too emotionally intense, this fear of vulnerability triggers their retreat.
Is it the same as ghosting?
Ghosting and avoidant discard may seem alike, but they’re not. Ghosting is a sudden, complete cutoff of communication, providing an abrupt end to the relationship. In contrast, avoidant discard is a drawn-out process, leaving the other person in emotional limbo. Kumaar explains, “Ghosting offers harsh clarity, while avoidant discard creates prolonged confusion and distress.”
Dealing with avoidant discard
If you find yourself on the receiving end of avoidant discard, it’s important to know this behavior comes from their personal struggles, not because of anything you did. “Understand that their behavior reflects their own struggles, not your worth. Prioritise self-care, seek clarity if possible, and lean on your support system. Recognising patterns like these can also help you navigate future relationships more effectively." explains Kumaar.
