Kargil braveheart's brother remembers him on Vijay Diwas: Anuj would pick fights with anyone who messed with me

It was July 6, 1999. Karan Nayyar, a carefree 19-year-old was driving through the roads of Vasant Kunj. He remembers thanking God in those moments for blessing him with loving parents and a protective older brother. "I still remember exactly where I was . I said, 'thank you for all that you have given me for 19 years of my life, I will not complain if I need to face hardships later in life. Little did I know, that next day my life will change forever."

The family would receive a call in the early hours of July 7 that Karan's older brother, Captain Anuj Nayyar had been killed in action in the Kargil War. The 23-year-old would subsequently be conferred with Mahavir Chakra, the nation's second highest gallantry award.

"As a 19 year old, I was a very pampered kid, who had not seen any hardships in life, I did not know how to cope with such a huge disaster. I just went in a shell. I could never talk about my brother with anyone, even thinking about him was so painful. I just lived in this shell for the next many many years till eventually I helped write a book on him, that made me go down memory lane, meet all his friends, soldiers and face my grief head on and learn to live with it," says Karan.

The loss of his loving elder brother's protective shade had to leave Karan as uprooted and lost as he found himself.

"He would not let anyone at home, school or our neighborhood touch me. There are so many instances where he would pick fights with anyone, anywhere who messed with me. I actually thought he will back off and not protect me if the meanest, most dangerous school bullies messed with me. I remember one day I wanted to test him out, and I pretended that the most famous 'Gunda' of our school had bullied me. Before I knew, he was already running in his direction! I had to chase and stop him to say that I was joking. He just smiled. In another instance, a senior had hit me with a cricket bat because I was not vacating the volleyball court. When I told my brother, he called the senior and warned him never to mess with me again. I was surprised that my brother was very lenient on the senior, so I told him, 'The senior hit me with a bat and you just warned him?' He immediately called back my senior (his junior), requested him to take off his specs and the rest I should not say what happened!"

Anuj was as chilled out an older brother as he was protective. "I had my first cigarette with him, I used to have a drink or two with him. His philosophy was to not stop me from doing what I want to - experience life and take my own decisions, write my own story. I used to go and live with him (not legally) in NDA and IMA while he was training. He would sleep on the floor and I would sleep on the bed... there are a hundred instances I can keep narrating..."

One of them being almost getting caught at the academy !

"There was a boxing match where no one wanted to fight to save themselves from any injuries, and he volunteered to fight in all weight classes (with a broken nose) if no one else fights. That motivated his company and they fought and won second position. It is special for me as I was sneaked into one of his boxing matches and even have a picture clicked with the boxing team! The picture was actually caught by one of the training officers in the academy and the boxing team was questioned - "Who is this boy with long hair in the team?" One of my brother's friend just said they dont know. They throught he was some officer's kid," laughs Karan.

The making of Anuj , the soldier, probably started on the same Volleyball court where he stood up to his brother's bully. "He lived through different phases of life and evolved into a great soldier. He started off as a very shy kid, loved by his parents but ignored and even bullied by his peers. One day I remember, when he was in 10th grade, he was beaten up at the volleyball court by ten 12th graders. That I think changed his perspective, he had enough now and it was time to retaliate. I remember he got hold of his friends and individually taught those 10 a lesson, that was violent and I cannot describe here. From there on he started to be very fearless and stood up for any wrong he saw around him. He was a boy with high values and principles, always. He respected women and had a good relationship with many girls based on respect and friendship. He was always on a journey after the10th grade incident to get better and better each day. He was always challenging himself, running, exercising to get so strong that no one could touch him or his loved ones. Finally, he went on to become a fearless soldier that no one could touch his country," says Karan, recalling feeling happy and proud at Anuj's decision to join the Army. "Though I never imagined that he will actually be fighting a war. I enjoyed staying with him in NDA, IMA and later during his postings, being pampered all the time."

It was July 6, 1999. Karan Nayyar, a carefree 19-year-old was driving through the roads of Vasant Kunj. He remembers thanking God in those moments for blessing him with loving parents and a protective older brother. "I still remember exactly where I was . I said, 'thank you for all that you have given me for 19 years of my life, I will not complain if I need to face hardships later in life. Little did I know, that next day my life will change forever."

The family would receive a call in the early hours of July 7 that Karan's older brother, Captain Anuj Nayyar had been killed in action in the Kargil War. The 23-year-old would subsequently be conferred with Mahavir Chakra, the nation's second highest gallantry award.

"As a 19 year old, I was a very pampered kid, who had not seen any hardships in life, I did not know how to cope with such a huge disaster. I just went in a shell. I could never talk about my brother with anyone, even thinking about him was so painful. I just lived in this shell for the next many many years till eventually I helped write a book on him, that made me go down memory lane, meet all his friends, soldiers and face my grief head on and learn to live with it," says Karan.

The loss of his loving elder brother's protective shade had to leave Karan as uprooted and lost as he found himself.

"He would not let anyone at home, school or our neighborhood touch me. There are so many instances where he would pick fights with anyone, anywhere who messed with me. I actually thought he will back off and not protect me if the meanest, most dangerous school bullies messed with me. I remember one day I wanted to test him out, and I pretended that the most famous 'Gunda' of our school had bullied me. Before I knew, he was already running in his direction! I had to chase and stop him to say that I was joking. He just smiled. In another instance, a senior had hit me with a cricket bat because I was not vacating the volleyball court. When I told my brother, he called the senior and warned him never to mess with me again. I was surprised that my brother was very lenient on the senior, so I told him, 'The senior hit me with a bat and you just warned him?' He immediately called back my senior (his junior), requested him to take off his specs and the rest I should not say what happened!"

Anuj was as chilled out an older brother as he was protective. "I had my first cigarette with him, I used to have a drink or two with him. His philosophy was to not stop me from doing what I want to - experience life and take my own decisions, write my own story. I used to go and live with him (not legally) in NDA and IMA while he was training. He would sleep on the floor and I would sleep on the bed... there are a hundred instances I can keep narrating..."

One of them being almost getting caught at the academy !

"There was a boxing match where no one wanted to fight to save themselves from any injuries, and he volunteered to fight in all weight classes (with a broken nose) if no one else fights. That motivated his company and they fought and won second position. It is special for me as I was sneaked into one of his boxing matches and even have a picture clicked with the boxing team! The picture was actually caught by one of the training officers in the academy and the boxing team was questioned - "Who is this boy with long hair in the team?" One of my brother's friend just said they dont know. They throught he was some officer's kid," laughs Karan.

The making of Anuj , the soldier, probably started on the same Volleyball court where he stood up to his brother's bully. "He lived though different phases of life and evolved into a great soldier. He started off as a very shy kid, loved by his parent but ignored and even bulled by his peers. One day I remember, when he was in 10th grade, he was beaten up at the volleyball court by ten 12th graders. That I think changed his perspective, he had enough now and it was time to retaliate. I remember he got hold of his friends and individually taught those 10 a lesson, that was violent and I cannot describe here. From there on he started to be very fearless and stood up for any wrong he saw around him. He was a boy with high values and principles, always. He respected women and had a good relationship with many girls based on respect and friendship. He was always on a journey after the10th grade incident to get better and better each day. He was always challenging himself, running, exercising to get so strong that no one could touch him or his loved ones. Finally, he went on to become a fearless soldier that no one could touch his country," says Karan, recalling feeling happy and proud at Anuj's decision to join the Army. "Though I never imagined that he will actually be fighting a war. I enjoyed staying with him in NDA, IMA and later during his postings, being pampered all the time."

Anuj, monikered Tiger Of Drass in military circles, referred to Karan as a Tiger in his last letter to him. That remains his most precious memory of his brother. "He wrote the letter in the dark under moonlight. I still have that letter. I remember the last time he was with us, he met my then girlfriend who is now my wife. I am happy that he met my wife before he went to Kargil and knew the person I will be spending my life with."

What kind of support does he remember getting after his brother's death ?

"In my initial years from 1999 to around 2016, honestly, my only support was my family and friends. There were many people who came and supported my parents, but I guess no one really thinks a young boy who lost his brother also needs support. Though later on when we started writing a book on my brother, I got connected with the writer Himmat Singh Shekhawat and Shivaditya Modi, who have become dear friends, and many of my brother's friends from NDA, IMA, and his unit too. His best friend Brig Ashok Thakur is very close to me now."

In fact it was the book titled , Tiger Of Drass that helped him open up to his brother's memories. " By talking to many of his fellow friends and soldiers, by visiting the peaks where he fought..... Before that it was all just loaded and locked inside me and too painful to let out. Now I am able to tell stories about him to my kids with pride and I am able to hide the grief underneath. He is also Anuj Bhai for them," he smiles.

Touching upon the state of recognition for fallen soldiers and support for their families , he adds, "There are many people out there who respect our soldiers and their families, we get a lot of love from them all around the year. Additionally, if I may say, there are some seasonal ones also whose appreciation increases close to July and then fades away. Nothing against them also, we are all busy with our lives."

On the 25th anniversary of the war, his thoughts are with the families of all those who died in the war. "My first thoughts go to all the soldiers who fought fearlessly in the Kargil war and the 527 who laid their lives for the nation. We are forever indebted to those soldiers and the ones after that still protecting us. Then I think about my personal loss here. A brother I could have shared my entire life with, who always loved and protected me. The loss my family suffered, the tears that my mother still cries and the grief that my father went through. It pains me a lot to see that hundreds of Indian soldier still lay down their lives for the nation, hundreds of families still being destroyed. It pains me deeply."

Anuj was two months away from his wedding when tragedy struck. He was to marry his longtime girlfriend whom he had met in school. His wedding clothes lay unworn . His fiancee is the admin of a facebook group in his name that has more than 4000 members. Karan used to hang out with them a lot during his courtship days. Have they kept in touch ?

"We were in touch for few months after, though we slowly and naturally let go to ensure she still has the time and is able to start a new life. We wanted the best for her and wished for her to have a loving husband and family she deserves. In the courtship years I was the designated driver for them, my brother would take me with him so that he can spend time with her and does not have to worry about driving (laughs). I used to wait for them not to be dating, so that I get to ride his bike on my dates (laughs).

Karan , who graduated from BITS Pilani has been in the tech industry since 2004 and now lives in Silicon Valley (Bay Area, California ) and works for Oracle Corporation . "I am married to my first love and the girl I showed my brother. We have been married for 20 years now and have three lovely kids. I do not thank God anymore for what I have, as I do not want anything more to be taken away. Though indirectly I do express my gratitude to God every day."