Sushant Singh Rajput’s brother-in-law says justice is important but so is ‘tending to the broken hearts’
Sushant Singh Rajput’s brother-in-law Vishal Kirti paid tribute to him on his first death anniversary. Vishal said that while justice is important, ‘tending to the broken hearts is also important’.
Vishal Kirti, the brother-in-law of late actor Sushant Singh Rajput, shared a lengthy note to mark his first death anniversary. Vishal is married to Sushant’s elder sister, Shweta Singh Kirti.
Sushant Singh Rajput was found dead at his apartment in Mumbai on June 14 last year. The case is being probed by the Central Bureau of Investigation, following the intervention of the Supreme Court, with the Enforcement Directorate and Narcotics Control Bureau looking into the money laundering and drugs angles, respectively.
In a new blog post, Vishal Kirti talked about how Sushant’s death has affected the family. “There are moments in life which are so defining that they partition your life into two parts- before and after. Sushant’s death was that event in our family. Everything has changed but still a lot remains the same. The incongruence of this statement is best explained with the dichotomy between the internalities and externalities. Externally, we are doing practical things like earning a living, raising our children and supporting our parents, which are same as before. But internally, we experience a big void which is devoid of everything but grief,” he wrote.
Vishal said that ‘everyone processes grief differently’ and how Shweta Singh Kirti is dealing with it in ‘complete isolation’. “This entire month, she is on a solitary retreat, deep into the mountains, with no human contact whatsoever. Not only human contact, she has no means of communication like internet or cell phone or even a car to drive back. All we know is the date and time when she would like to be picked up from her barebones cabin in the mountains,” he wrote.
For Vishal, ‘staying productive and taking care of responsibilities’ has helped him cope with the tragedy, as well as writing. “I am writing this today in the public forum so that people can appreciate that getting justice for your family member is only one of the components of grieving. Justice is certainly important but tending to the broken hearts is also important,” he wrote.
Vishal explained why his blog post was titled ‘on death and dying’ and said that one of the reasons was that many have been ravaged by the loss of a loved one in the recent past, due to the Covid-19 pandemic. “Talking about death, loss and grief are very difficult topics and I hope this post not only opens up this discussion but act as a soothing balm for the grieving hearts. I also understand that Sushant was a national treasure and hence his loss is a little different since it’s not only a loss for family and friends but also a loss for the nation,” he wrote, adding that he is ‘not a professional in the field of grief’ and is only sharing what he knows from first-hand experiences and ‘amateur research’.
Vishal talked about the five stages of grief - Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. “As I said earlier, not everyone will necessarily experience all five stages and not in the linear order either. When we experience these stages, at the least we know that we are not alone in this and these are common across humanity. It’s ok to experience these things so that we grieve properly. If we don’t grieve properly, it will be very difficult to sustain our lives,” he said.
One universal truth about the death of a loved one, Vishal said, is a ‘permanent emotional imprint and void’. “Even after reaching a state of acceptance, there is a complete understanding that the void will remain unfilled permanently. We can go back to laughing with our children and friends with time, but a deep knowledge of this undercurrent void persists even in those moments,” he wrote. He also urged people talking to someone who has lost a loved one to acknowledge the permanence of the loss as it ‘aids in the process of healing’.
“Sushant Singh Rajput is not only a source of pride for my wife’s family but also for his millions of admirers. Sushant was certainly gifted and special and honed his craft to excellence with hard work. He studied interesting books and worked and took interest in different areas. He donated generously and had big aspirations, not only for himself but for society in general. He was loving and kind, childlike and innocent, playful yet deep, a paradox of existence,” Vishal wrote.
“He leaves behind a legacy which matters for generations to come. All his positive qualities will be an inspiration for our youth and his rise in society from humble beginnings will be a model to be studied, not limited to the context of cinema but from the perspective of experiments and outcomes. His works in the performing arts are a treasure trove of emotions for his admirers to absorb, experience and to live vicariously through his story. And his name is now synonymous with Immortality!” he added.
If you need support or know someone who does, please reach out to your nearest mental health specialist. Helplines: Aasra: 022 2754 6669; Sneha India Foundation: +914424640050 and Sanjivini: 011-24311918
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