NaMo has been promoted, can do better next time

We’re very happy young Namo is adjusting well to his new school. He has worked hard throughout the year. A detailed assessment follows:

GEOGRAPHY: This is Namo’s favourite subject. He displays a deep interest in foreign countries and is passionate about foreign travel. He is a quick learner and has shown remarkable progress. He can easily rattle off the name of the capital of Mongolia or find Madison Square Garden on a map. Grade: A+

LANGUAGE: We are impressed by Namo’s excellent command over language and have been vastly entertained by his wordplay. He has a gift for coining funny acronyms and we wait eagerly for his next hilarious gem. Over time, we hope to gently wean him away from the notion that acronyms and alliteration are all there is to language. Grade: A+

HISTORY: Namo is blessed with the curious belief that history begins with him and all that happened before his birth is the prehistoric era. He says he acquired his historical ideas from his friend Yellapragada Sudershan Rao. We have asked him to ditch his friend and stick to the curriculum. Grade: C

SCIENCE: He has a vivid imagination about science in ancient India, especially genetics and plastic surgery. His passion for Ayurveda, homeopathy and yoga is commendable. But he will get better grades if he concentrates on equations and formulae. Grade: B

MATHS: His excellent calculating brain is struck by the wonders of the binomial theorem and he often pesters his teachers about where the extra 2ab in (a+b) squared comes from. Grade: A

MUSIC AND ART: He displays great interest in Chinese terracotta soldiers. He can play the drums and the flute but weirdly insists he will only play in foreign countries. We however hope to enjoy his musical talents in India soon. Grade: A

LEADERSHIP: Namo enjoys guiding his friends and instructing them. He is eager to air his ideas and opinions but we need to encourage him to give other students a chance to voice their ideas too. With time, he will appreciate the thin line dividing leadership from control freakery. Grade:A

EXTRA-CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES: He loves fancy dress. Whether it is dressing up as a Mongolian herder, or in a suit with his name for stripes, or in a multi-hued turban, nobody does fancy dress like him. Our psychologist assures us this is perfectly normal. Namo has a superb sense of drama and an unerring instinct for knowing where the camera is. We love his selfies. Grade:A+

SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT: Namo is learning to socialise peacefully and as he grows older, he will stop bashing up kids weaker than him. He is slowly learning to share. But we are concerned about his friends young Yogi Adityanath, Niranjan Jyoti and the like, scamps who are a bad influence. They prevent Namo from giving his best. We are confident he will soon be able to choose his friends more wisely.

FINAL REMARKS: We have great expectations from young Namo. Can do better next year. Promoted.

(Manas Chakravarty is Consulting Editor, Mint. The views expressed by the author are personal.)