A Calmer You, by Sonal Kalra: I love exams. Bring them on
Nothing unites our country as the stress of exams does.
I came up with the hashtag #HarSaalWahiHaal a few weeks back when writing about the tamasha around Valentine’s Day. But right after that, I kicked myself for using it a bit too soon. The actual usage of this phrase is NOW. Because now, my fellow worried souls, is the wretched examination season. I mean, just look at the irony. It’s almost spring time, and all that I notice around are blooming flowers – and anxious faces. Faces of stressed out students, and even more stressed out parents.
Now, I’ve written several times in this column that I have no faith in examination results being a benchmark of how intelligent or otherwise a student is. I also firmly feel that the stress that exams give us is disproportionately higher than their contribution in deciding what we finally become in life. So, while I was getting ready to yet again thrash the concept of exams, here’s the message I got from the ‘marketing research team’ that measures the response to my column. “Hello ma’am, hope you are writing about the exam stress this week. Please ensure that it makes the readers feel ‘positive’ about taking exams.” What I wrote back in response to this message cannot be published here due to reasons of decency.
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But since research is the king (ugh), I eventually ended up forcing myself to think of all things positive about exams. And voilà, I think I’ve hit the jackpot. Because a wave of sheer respect for the examination system has suddenly engulfed my soul. I have decided that I love exams. I seriously do. Here’s why…
1) Exams are a big unifier in our country, especially in these communally tense times. Ab whether you are a Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Sikh or of any religion, exams don’t discriminate when it comes to making your life hell. Ammis, abbus, moms, dads of the country are united in feeling jittery about how their Bunty or Bubbly is going to fare in the board exams. For once mummys, papas take leave from work, for once there is no argument about ordering food from outside, for once there is no pressure of attending rishtedaar weddings. Same amount of tension at every home, regardless of whether you are in Gujarat or Rajasthan or Punjab or Andamans. Sabke TV band, sabke PUBG banned, sabka Insta blocked.
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2) The stress of exams is so great that it made the Prime Minister of the country address the exam-bound, anxious kids, when he has chosen to not address the other set of anxious kids — the journalists for a while. Do you see the significance and power of the exam stress?
3) As election time looms large, there is nothing that has the capacity to unite — or silence — the warring political rivals in noisy TV debates, as exam stress does. Imagine the BJP spokesperson and the Congress spokesperson discussing offline about how tough their kids’ mathematics paper was. Kitna pyar aur empathy aayegi ek doosre ke haal pe? How would they then shout at each other in the debate? And if by a stroke of luck, the TV anchor’s kid also found the math paper tough, then toh it won’t be a debate at all. It’ll be a crying fest of depressed parents. Trust me, school exams are God’s unique way of making people bond over stress and grief. Forget about the differences, it’s aao-sab-ek-doosre-ke kandhe-pe-ro-lete-hain kinda situation. If that’s not an equaliser, what is?
On a saner note, exams are a reality we can’t wish away, just yet. But while we are at it, let’s not lose grip over the lighter side of it affecting one and all. We’ve all been through this hell, so if you are a student or a parent finding it tough to cross this bridge, take heart in the fact that this month will be stressful, but it’ll pass, and you’ll forget all about it in some time. None of us remembers the sleepless night before our 9th grade social science exam, do we? Our child won’t remember it either. Why not hold their hand and let them sleep just a bit longer then.
Sonal Kalra told her daughter that she’s always there for her, no matter what. As long as she scores over 95%. Mail your exam stress woes to her at sonal.kalra @hindustantimes.com or or facebook.com/sonalkalraofficial. Follow on Twitter @sonalkalra. You can also order the compilation volumes of A Calmer You columns online, as a set of three books.
