Witerati: Jamnagar jamboree to jail jalsa
Goes without saying that the Ambani “Band Baja Baraat” would definitely be the perfect muse for the Sooraj Barjataya brand of cinema, riding multi-starrer wholesome family entertainment.
If art imitates life, Bollywood filmmakers may be in a bit of dilemma -- which recent high-drama wedding qualifies more for a screen adaptation?
The Jamnagar Jamboree or the Jail Jalsa?
Goes without saying that the Ambani “Band Baja Baraat” would definitely be the perfect muse for the Sooraj Barjataya brand of cinema, riding multi-starrer wholesome family entertainment.
From item numbers flush ‘n’ flesh with latka jhatkas, courtesy the three Khans to Deepika-Ranveer to Alia-Ranbir, it had all the trappings of that song “Aaj zameen par utre kitne sitare hain...deewangi deewangi” from KJo flick ‘Om Shanti Om’. Much like the multi-starrer score, wherein at every twist and twirl you had new cameos shimmying on to the silver screen, the Jamnagar Jalsa dripped cameos by the second, screaming solitaires and Sabyasachis.
Not that we needed affirmation of this truism -- You can take the Ambanis out of Bollywood but you can’t take Bollywood out of the Ambanis.
What the Ambanis succeeded in accomplishing was not only to be a bridge, bringing the world to Jamnagar, but also to divide the world. Those who were in Jamnagar Vs those who were not. Haves and have-nots.
No prizes for guessing what a possible screen adaptation of this wedding of the year could be called.
The curious case of “Blingg is Kingg”.
Maharanis to Madam Minz
Ah, but somehow how one wishes that the other recent high-drama marriage had garnered as much news headlines or eyeballs at least.
The wedding of an infamous gangster and Rajasthan’s lady don - Kala Jathedi meets Madam Minz.
Protagonists of the Lawrence Bishnoi gang, Kala, aka Sandeep Jhanjhariya, and Madam Minz, aka Revolver Rani, aka Anuradha Choudhary , recently tied the knot with an unusual battalion of baraatis -- over 250 cops and SWAT commandos.
The love story, that bloomed in Madhya Pradesh, culminated with the groom being ferried from Tihar jail for their Dwarka wedding in Delhi, complete with the works. Drones and dilli de dosas to bar-code bands and bulletproof bandobast.
It somehow promises more masala for a screen adaptation. It makes for a more realistic script, as much as a more aspirational narrative.
It just shows that at the end of the day, even gangsters, poor things, are human. And as much susceptible to the charms of Cupid as those in multi-million Versace wedding gowns.
No prizes again for guessing what this real-to-reel adaptation could be called. Gangs of Vassey Poor.
Being a more middle-class narrative, it is higher on aspiration quotient. Hence, a more relatable script for screen adaptation.
The curious case of Bandobast Baja Baraat.
Photo op to photoshop
Contrast all this with the twist in the fairytale narrative unfolding afar.
Whilst the fairytale of Jamnagar was basking in its Photo op, a faded fairytale on foreign shores was having to contend with Photoshop.
Princess Kate Middleton’s Photoshopped ‘Mother’s Day’ images saw the British royalty engulfed by a social media storm.
The Photoshop-altered portraits of royalty may be a harsh reminder that when fairytales turn sour, there may be a third-party “hand” in it.
Have we become so fixated on fairytales that we don’t even spare fairytales-gone-sour from the social media glare!
Till the world figures out the ‘what’ and ‘why’ of the British fairytale’s date with Photoshop more than photo op, maybe one can brighten the mood by replaying the Jamnagar Jalsa on YouTube #Shorts.
Here’s hoping fairytales aren’t #Shorts-lived.
