Walking into New Year without resolutions
In fact, deciding upon a start or finish line simply disengages me. However, each person is unique, and despite not being in the ‘resolution’ boat, I can grasp the thrill, motivation and satisfaction of New Year (or any other time-aligned) goals.
New Year resolutions. The term does sound exciting, but alas! I have never set New Year goals. It always seems to me that “karna hoga toh bina New Year bhi kar hi lungi”. And it’s actually true for me. So far whenever I have achieved something, the timing has been arbitrary.
In fact, deciding upon a start or finish line simply disengages me. However, each person is unique, and despite not being in the ‘resolution’ boat, I can grasp the thrill, motivation and satisfaction of New Year (or any other time-aligned) goals. Hope comes differently to everyone and in different forms and shapes. But New Year is a time of new beginning and new beginnings unfailingly define hope, hence the goals that get started with gusto. All in all, undoubtedly, it’s a good time to begin, just like the fresh mornings. Hope sustains life. As long as one can hope, one puts in effort. Lack/ losing hope curtails actions, thereby actually hampering outcomes. Hope can be developed too, though the recipe would be different for different people. But even in the most despairing situations, one can endeavour to take baby steps. In fact, to quote Queen Elizabeth II, “It is often the small steps, not the giant leaps, that bring about the most lasting change.” The strength one will discover in oneself during these baby steps will stimulate lasting change – both internal and external.
There is an academically tinted incident I would like to narrate. I am a teacher (read student) of psychology. And once, during college days when I was attending a class on mental health counselling, we were discussing the timing of decision-making by people seeking counselling/therapy. It was apparent from everyone’s input that it is usually during the most hopeless times that one does so. However, that one is taking a step towards betterment itself also, does indicate hope. So, saying that it’s about learning how to hope, and not waiting for hope to appear, won’t be an overstatement.
Are there some ways one can build hope whatever the situation? Definitely yes. Here are a few pointers:
1. Keep going – When we fail, it is because, usually, we have given up just when we were about to make it. So, take a deep breath, and take just the next step – even if the road/ way ahead seems dark and foggy; inch by inch, slowly, the path will itself keep appearing.
2. There is light at the end of the tunnel – Looking back at our life, so many times we realise that there were several trivial things we were uselessly stressed about in the past. It’s partly true because with time we have devised solutions and healed. Similarly, whatever happens now (or in future) will also be solvable. And if not solvable, then, manageable. So, believing ‘This too shall pass’ aids, almost always.
3. Stress management: Adopt at least one stress management technique. With our ever-changing society, evolving technology and the basic human requirement to grow and progress comes stress. It is unquestioningly unavoidable. And while Mother Nature has bestowed us with some automatic coping mechanisms, conscious efforts are also needed in that direction now. So, whether it is daily yoga, or a cup of coffee with your best friend – stick to it.
Finally, I remember a particularly challenging time of my life when simply opening up about the ongoing difficulties with a significant other relieved me (to an extent). Sharing helps us see the situation(s) in a new perspective and combats the thoughts of ‘why-me’ as others too bring forth their similar (or non-similar) roadblocks, thus initiating hope and change simultaneously. So, just like other skills, let’s delve into learning how to hope and ease our journeys.
