The Spice of Life: Depth vs display: Balance privilege with purpose

At a recent gathering, I found myself seated next to a woman adjusting her Dior glasses while scrolling through the RSVP list for a kirtan (prayer meeting) at her house. In her mid-sixties, she exuded precision. The bindi was perfectly centered, the French manicure gleamed, and between discussions of temple prasad and her next Bali vacation, she sighed, “They call me the Nita Ambani of Gurugram.”

I smiled. Of course.

In an era where identity is curated like an Instagram feed, Nita Ambani is the reigning deity of the rich and restless — a modern-day Lakshmi draped in Gucci, accessorised with heritage, and enveloped in the purest Himalayan air money can buy. For young women married into business dynasties, she is both an aspiration and an instruction manual, balancing culture in one hand, a Birkin bag in the other, never letting a diamond-studded bangle slip while offering a namaste for the cameras.

But the Nita Ambani aesthetic is more than emeralds and Botox; it’s an entire philosophy. It teaches the art of soft power — how to whisper about charity at a soirée where the champagne costs more than a village’s annual income, how to bow before tradition while curating the guest list for an Art Basel gala, how to be seen as the guardian of sanskaar (culture) while your yacht is docked in the French Riviera. For many young wives of sprawling business empires, self-discovery isn’t about soul-searching in the Himalayas (unless it’s at a five-star wellness retreat); it’s about perfecting the art of balance, where legacy meets luxury.

And yet, as I watched my elegantly coiffed companion scroll through her feed, comparing ‘Who wore it better at the Ambani wedding,’ I wondered: Where is the restless drive to create, not just belong?

There was a time when privilege came with purpose, and young women — regardless of their status — had fire in their bellies. They once stepped out to create change, to connect, to build a better society. Now, the preference leans toward crafting a better lifestyle instead. This isn’t to diminish Nita Ambani’s influence. If anything, it magnifies the need to look beyond the veneer. The women who idolise her must recognise that her real power isn’t in what she wears but in what she wields. Not in carrying a legacy, but in making one.

For generations, women have been told their strength lies in keeping things just right — a spotless home, a flawless family, a well-attired, well-mannered existence. But the real architects of history weren’t remembered for their monogrammed napkins. They were remembered for their ability to shape minds, shift narratives, and steer the world — not just their homes — toward something greater.

Powerful women aren’t just the keepers of order; they are the makers of change. Their legacy isn’t in colour-coordinated wardrobes and beautifully laid tables but in the influence they wield, the conversations they ignite, and the movements they lead. A perfectly balanced aesthetic may please the eye, but a woman who tilts the axis of power? She will be remembered in history and not just social media. The question for my friend was: Is your power in the purse you carry or in the decisions you make?

After all, tradition wrapped in Chanel is still tradition. But ambition wrapped in comfort? That’s just stagnation.

sannakaushal@gmail.com

The writer is media adviser with National Commission for Women, New Delhi.