Spice of Life: Practise compassion to stay calm, happy

One morning as I finished serving water to an elderly devotee at the langar (community kitchen) of Golden Temple, he suddenly shouted: “If you don’t want to fill the bowl fully, better don’t serve it.” I hadn’t filled anybody’s bowl to the brim to avoid spilling water. Should I pour more, I asked hesitantly. “No! Just get away. I don’t want anymore,” he said. In an instant, many faces turned towards him. Staying silent, I continued serving the long queue sitting on the floor.

A minute later, another volunteer serving nearby stopped to roll out these caring words, “Hope you didn’t create anger inside. You never know what people are going through. Keep this in mind if someone ever sounds angry.” His words reflected compassion. He not only thought about the angry man but also about me. An hour later, I met him again while having tea. “We always have a choice to understand others or simply get provoked by their behaviour,” he said. I felt inspired. Writing this a few weeks later, I wondered, hasn’t Greek philosopher Plato said something similar? “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”

When we don’t practise compassion, we lose all our energy as we begin to complain and criticise and even compare, which drains us even more. It remains absent because most of us don’t pause to think as we always expect people to behave according to our expectations. During dusk, whenever I’m in the park near my home, I hear people criticising others over the phone or with their walking companion.

We forget we are unique because of our nature, exposure and circumstances. Spirituality attributes the difference in behaviour to previous lifetimes. It is believed that every birth is an opportunity for the soul and mind to evolve by working on oneself.

Last month, I visited a bedridden aunt in the neighbourhood and returned home quite irritated as she had asked me about almost everyone in the colony. Talking about others didn’t appeal to me, but she wanted to absorb every little detail. When I shared this on a frustrating note with another neighbour, he surprisingly had a view that made me think. “The life of any bedridden person is confined to the four walls, which is why one is curious about the world outside,” he said.

The other day, as I met my aunt in the village and casually talked about how sad some shopkeepers always are, she had a thoughtful response. “Sitting the whole day isn’t easy and you never know low sales could be another reason,” she said. I was not only touched by the answers despite being so simple but also by the calmness they carried.

Calmness flowed because they responded through the lens of compassion, which involved understanding others irrespective of the state they may be in.

Tibetan spiritual leader The Dalai Lama put it profoundly when it seemed a secret to a beautiful life: “If you want others to be happy, practise compassion. If you want to be happy, practise compassion.” Compassion is the key to a calm and happy mind, and eventually a good life. It makes our world beautiful, too.

rameshinder.sandhu@gmail.com

(The writer is an Amritsar-based freelance contributor )