Spice of Life | Empathy, the medicine needed in everyday life

A patient recently arrived in my routine OPD for consultation. After examining him and prescribing the necessary medication, I noticed he seemed unusually emotional. Upon enquiring, he shared that his mother had passed away three weeks ago in Delhi and that he was quite disturbed. It appeared that he wanted to vent his feelings.

Sensing his distress, I encouraged him to share his story as I was relatively free and all ears. He began with a heavy heart, recounting how his mother who lived in Delhi had suffered a fall, resulting in multiple fractures. She was initially admitted to a nearby hospital, but due to the severity of her condition, she was referred to a tertiary healthcare institute. Being a reputed institute, it was crowded with serious patients. The son, anxious about his mother’s condition, repeatedly alerted the doctors regarding her condition.

Though the doctors monitored her treatment, their apparent lack of repeated counselling and interaction with the son made him perceive that there appeared to be inadequate alertness and attention towards her treatment. This deeply disturbed him. Feeling that his mother was being neglected, he decided to shift her to another hospital, where she passed away despite the best of care.

His voice, tinged with both sorrow and controlled anger, echoed a poignant question: “Why are doctors so indifferent and lacking in empathy?”

I empathised with him and explained the immense stress and patient overload that healthcare professionals face in government-run institutions. I assured him that the institute is known for the high-level dedication of doctors, robust patient-friendly protocols and good work culture. The attending doctors’ efforts are channelised to treat the patient in view of the huge rush of patients. In the process, they may fail to inform the attendants about the periodic update on the health of the patients. This may be perceived by attendants as lack of empathy by doctors.

My comforting words and explanation of circumstances of doctors’ work load and the conversation with the grieving son led to a cathartic release of his pent-up emotions. As he left the OPD, he felt a sense of lightness, his hurt somewhat assuaged.

It is common for healthcare professionals to become desensitised and emotionless. Yet, it is during these times that qualities like empathy, patience, and understanding become paramount. Doctors should strive to embody the words of writer Maya Angelou: “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” In moments of emotional turmoil, a kind word, a listening ear, and genuine compassion can provide immense comfort to patients and their families.

This incident reinforced my belief that empathy is not just an added quality but a necessity in every field involving public dealing. Human touch leaves a lasting impact. As someone rightly said, “You can only understand people if you feel them in yourself.”

The writer, a Panchkula-based orthopedic doctor, is a former director general of health services, Haryana. He can be reached at narin58@gmail.com