Spice of life: Big fat Indian weddings with twist in RSVP list
The RSVP list on the wedding invite is scrutinised with as much fervour as the guest list itself. Each family member’s inclusion becomes a matter of familial diplomacy, ensuring that every branch of the tree feels honoured and respected
The invite holds a significant place in Indian wedding preparations, embodying meticulous attention to detail and cultural consequences. The selection of the right colour scheme and paper, and careful choice of words, often entrusted to the most educated member of the family, reflect the importance of this document. Also, the names that will make it to the most anticipated list of near and dear ones on the wedding invitation can make or break relationships. Last but not least, is the conundrum called RSVP, which adds another layer of complexity, whether or not we Indians understand its significance is a different ball game altogether.
RSVP, or ‘Répondez s’il vous plaît’, which translates to “please respond” in French, plays a crucial role in wedding invitations all over the world. In western countries, weddings are expensive affairs, and knowing the exact number of attendees is essential for planning and logistics. However, the concept of RSVP is not as deeply ingrained in Indian culture as in the West.
In the grand Indian tradition of wedding invitations, the concept of RSVP takes on a delightful twist. Unlike the West, where a single designated person collects responses, in India, the RSVP list resembles a family tree, with names of taujis, chachajis, mamajis, bhatijas and bhanjas, all vying for a spot. After all, in the spirit of inclusivity, no family member should feel left out or ignored.
The invitation arrives, adorned with intricate designs and elegant script, and the RSVP list is scrutinised with as much fervour as the guest list itself. Each family member’s inclusion becomes a matter of familial diplomacy, ensuring that every branch of the tree feels honoured and respected.
In Indian weddings, the concept of RSVP takes on a whimsical twist, resembling more of a guessing game than a formal request for response.
Here, guests are the protagonists, navigating through a maze of unspoken expectations and cultural nuances. Many guests may assume that their presence is expected and may not feel the need to formally respond. While some guests might wait for a personal invitation or follow-up call before confirming their attendance, some others expect the host to press upon them the need to attend the wedding before they give their acceptance, as if the unspoken rule for RSVP for us Indians is: ‘Thou shalt not RSVP unless explicitly asked!’
However, with Indian weddings getting more expensive by the day, gone are the days of simple ceremonies. Today’s weddings are elaborate affairs, featuring destination venues, pre-wedding photo shoots, and week-long celebrations. This requires a need for greater efficiency and control, leading to a shift in how guests are invited and managed.
To manage the burgeoning guest lists and the associated costs, restrictions on the number of wedding guests have become necessary. Enter the digital age, where traditional paper invitations are being replaced by digital invites with embedded RSVP links. This allows guests to respond instantaneously, providing hosts with a clearer picture of attendance and helping to streamline the planning process.
So while the essence of familial diplomacy and inclusivity remains at the heart of Indian wedding preparations, the advent of digital invitations and streamlined RSVP processes symbolises the adaptability of Indian customs in the face of contemporary challenges. sonrok15@gmail.com
The writer is an associate professor of English at SD College, Ambala Cantt.
