Techilicious by Rajiv Makhni: Eight crappy tech gifts you should stay away from buying this Christmas!

Nothing feels better than opening a wrapper and finding a box full of tech goodness within. Unfortunately, most people give the absolute bottom of the barrel stuff. It’s almost as if the part of the brain that makes logical decisions shuts off when it comes to buying something techie for someone we love. Here’s what not to ever give to anyone, even if you dislike them!

Voice assistant speakers

They seem like the perfect gift and actually are some of the most gifted items in the tech space. Unfortunately, they only seem like that when you buy them to gift. Most people get excited about them, scratch their heads about how to install them, eventually figure it out, use them a lot for the first three days and then pretty much never touch (or talk to) them again. It is estimated that a very small percentage of all voice assistant speakers are actively used.

Toys and games that need an app

It’s literally impossible to buy something today that isn’t app enabled. The problem is that it’s really inconvenient to set up, even more painful to use, needs the phone or a tablet at all times, has terrible software and UI, and basically sucks out all the fun from the toy. Stick to non digital versions of all the toys you present.

Smart anything

Three words that are serious red flags are appliances or devices that start with ‘Smart,’ ‘Internet’ or ‘IoT’. These words have been tacked onto everything, so there are things like a smart mattress, a smart microwave, a smart coffee maker, a smart refrigerator, smart geyser, smart door lock, smart anything. Most take a mundane feature and connect it to the net. Setting them up is a nightmare, using them is a battlefield and they add practically nothing to the real usage and features.

Power banks

They seem perfect as gifts. Everyone has a phone, everyone suffers from phones dying in the middle of the day; plus you can charge other stuff too. Unfortunately, 99 per cent of the market is flooded by no name, off brand, absolute garbage in the guise of a power bank. Poor build quality, third rate batteries, and poor wiring and insulation. These are fire and health hazards. Gifting someone a crappy power bank is like handing them a guaranteed mini explosion in a box.

Ear buds

This is a category so personal that you’re literally intruding into someone’s (ear) space without permission. Ear buds have to fit well inside the ear, the fit and feel can be majorly off based on the ear canal size and the bass and treble are dramatically different in each product. Some are astonishingly terrible for the kind of music your gift receiver may want to listen to. Treat the inside of the ear as an off limit space.

Celebrity name headphones

Rule of thumb. Don’t buy any tech, which has a celeb name before the name of the actual device. It’s an endorsement deal where the brand pays the celeb big bucks to print their name on the box. They contribute nothing, the stuff is more expensive as they have to recover the colossal fee and the product quality is always bad. If a brand doesn’t have the confidence in its own name, why would you buy anything from it to give to someone else?

Cheap tablets

There is a term that perfectly describes what cheap tablets are and what they do. Craplets! Prices are at an all-time low and they seem like the perfect gift. Unfortunately, what you’re giving is a hazy screen, terrible touch screen, slow response to apps and horrendous battery life. There’s a reason why tablet usage is spiralling downwards and a cheaper version makes it even worse.

Off brand fitness bands

First, gifting someone a fitness band is like gifting someone a deodorant (what’s the ‘hint’ associated with one?). Next, the fitness band is an idea whose time has come and gone. Almost all smart watches do way more and look much better and are pretty low-priced. And most cheap fitness bands are notoriously inaccurate too.

There’s so much more. USB-powered anything (tacky and ugly accessories that are pure junk), digital photo frames (low storage, terrible screens, impossible to get your picture loaded), last year’s phones (yes, prices are super low but it’s a bit of a cheapskate thing to gift someone), garbage level entry laptops (bulky, poor build, terrible specs, horrible performance) and so many more.

In my next column I’ll take you through the best tech gifts money can buy. To gift to others and to yourself. Don’t you dare buy anything till then.

Rajiv Makhni is managing editor, Technology, NDTV, and the anchor of Gadget Guru, Cell Guru and Newsnet 3

Techilicious appears every fortnight

From HT Brunch, December 8, 2019

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