Manoj Bajpayee reveals journey from Bihar village to Bollywood, says he was ‘close to committing suicide’ after NSD rejection

Manoj Bajpayee, the son of a farmer from Bihar, battled all odds to break into Bollywood. The recipient of two National Awards and a Padma Shri, he opened up about his journey and said that he once lost three roles in a single day.

In an interaction with Humans of Bombay, Manoj said that he aspired to become an actor since the age of nine. “I’m a farmer’s son; I grew up in a village in Bihar with 5 siblings–we went to a hut school. We led a simple life, but whenever we went to the city, we’d go to the theatre. I was a Bachchan fan & wanted to be like him. At 9, I knew acting was my destiny,” he said.

At the age of 17, Manoj left for Delhi University and started doing theatre, without telling his family. “Finally, I wrote a letter to dad–he wasn’t angry & even sent me Rs.200 to cover my fees! People back home called me ‘good for nothing’ but I turned a blind eye,” he said.

Manoj learnt English and Hindi, and applied to the prestigious National School of Drama. When he was rejected three times in a row, he was suicidal but his friends got him through his low phase. “I was an outsider, trying to fit in. So, I taught myself English & Hindi–Bhojpuri was a big part of how I spoke. I then applied to NSD, but was rejected thrice. I was close to committing suicide, so my friends would sleep next to me & not leave me alone. They kept me going until I was accepted,” he said.

After moving to Mumbai, Manoj was faced with rejections and struggles. “Initially, it was tough–I rented a chawl with 5 friends & looked for work, but got no roles. Once, an AD tore my photo & I’ve lost 3 projects in a day. I was even told to ‘get out’ after my 1st shot. I didn’t fit the ideal ‘hero’ face–so they thought I’d never make it to the big screen. All the while, I struggled to make rent & at times even a vada pav was costly,” he said.

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Despite the rejections, Manoj did not give up. “But the hunger in my stomach couldn’t dissuade my hunger to succeed. After 4 years of struggle, I got a role in Mahesh Bhatt’s TV series. I got Rs.1500 per episode–my first steady income. My work was noticed & I was offered my first Bollywood film & soon, I got my big break with ‘Satya’,” he said.

Satya, a crime drama directed by Ram Gopal Varma, starred Manoj as a gangster named Bhiku Mhatre and won him a National Award for his performance. The film’s success came as a validation of his dreams. “That’s when the awards rolled in. I bought my first house & knew…I was here to stay. 67 films later, here I am. That’s the thing about dreams–when it comes to turning them into reality, the hardships don’t matter. What matters is the belief of that 9-year-old Bihari boy & nothing else,” he said.

Manoj has had two releases this year -- Mrs Serial Killer and Bhosle. Mrs Serial Killer, a Netflix original film directed by Shirish Kunder, featured him as a man framed for the serial murders of a number of women. In Bhosle, which released on Sony LIV last month, he played a terminally-ill retired police officer.

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